“He’ll beat you on the track and then tell ya to stay the hell off his lawn.”
“If they put an Country Kitchen Buffet at the finish line, he’ll be the first to cross it.”
“Betcha $10 he’ll be wearing Depends for the race.”
“If he wrecks can he hit his Medic Alert Necklace and Shout, ‘Help! I’ve flipped a NASCAR and I can’t get up?’”
“If he pops a Viagra before the race, he’s got it.”
I could go on and on.
Bet you’re asking yourself “what the fuck is he talking about now?” Well, in a sport that never fails to entertain, there’s a new (old) name on the block. Rumors are flying around NASCAR that James Harvey Hylton will run in the Daytona 500.
Who the hell is James Harvey Hylton you ask? Only the NASCAR Grand National Division Rookie of the Year!
...in 1966. Yes, '66.
Forty-one years ago this guy could handle a piece of Detroit Steel. During his career he finished second in points in 1966, 1967, and 1971. He also won the 1970 Richmond 400, the 1970 NASCAR Grand American Citrus 250, and the 1972 Talladega 500. He currently drives the #48 in the ARCA RE/MAX Series.
PHOTO CREDIT: ARCAracing.com
Sounds impressive, huh? Unfortunately, Mr. Hylton wasn’t two years old when he started driving, he was a grown man, which will put him at the ripe old age of 73 for next month's Daytona 500.
Who in the hell in their right mind would put this old bastard behind the wheel of a multi-million dollar race car? Just one of the biggest names in NASCAR, Richard Childress. With backing like that, he might even have a shot.
For as much as I’d love to give this old bird guff, I can’t. He’s just a good old boy livin’ the dream baby…livin’ the dream.
No comments:
Post a Comment