Post-Sugar Bowl Hysteria from a madman...

One of my favorite jokes of all time:

What do Notre Dame and weed have in common?
They both get smoked in bowls.

Once again, the lepre-cons has proven why America is beginning to smell the stink the Fighting Irish have left on their attempts at BCS glory. The gold-helmeted dunderheads have lost nine straight bowl appearances, leaving the Irish faithful to wonder how they would have fared had Lou Holtz stayed in South Bend offering his mushmouthed motivational meanderings in the postseason.

Truth is, Notre Dame has been a mid-major program for the last decade. You can’t cushion an already weak season schedule consisting of wins against North Carolina, Stanford and Purdue with three wins against military teams and declare yourself the media baby and a national title contender…can you?

That’s a question for Boise State head coach Chris Peterson to consider as he confronts the media about how the still-undefeated Broncos would fare in the championship game against Ohio State. Would they have a chance? Probably not…but those making the case are raising some serious questions about conference discrepancies, media bias, and team talent.

When we say that a 13-0 Boise State team can’t hang with a 12-0 Ohio State team, each of us relies on a set of variables to make that decision. How strong were their conference and non-conference schedules? What were the margins for victories or losses? How did they do at home compared to away games? How do their offensive and defensive schemes compare? Mathematically, things get tricky when assessing all of these variables. Now, plug those exponential possibilities into a variable we can’t account for – the insensibility of human opinion – and what do you have?

That’s right! The BCS!

I’m no mathematician, but I can calculate that discrepancies occur when humans are involved. The term media bias is an oxymoron…the media, as an independent entity, gives no shits. The people driving the media do. Until there’s a way to break the human sway on these issues, everything will still look muddled.

Let’s imagine for a moment what the BCS would be like if part of its outcome was not based upon human biases. Bye-bye Harris Poll…so long Coach’s Poll…good riddance AP poll. All we’d have left is factually-generated computer analysis, and finally a more accurate idea of how two teams would match up in a BCS Bowl, right?

Perhaps it would, but weigh that against this little nugget of conspiracy from the bcsfootball.org Web site:

“The conference commissioners and the Notre Dame athletics director make decisions regarding all BCS issues, in consultation with an athletics directors advisory group and subject to the approval of a presidential oversight committee whose members represent all 117 Division 1-A programs.”

So here we’ve come full-circle. In our attempt to limit Notre Dame’s impact on post-seasonal positioning, we’ve discovered that with no non-BCS Bowl tie-ins, the Irish are seemingly guaranteed a spot in the BCS if their record trickles over the .500 mark.

So here’s what I say, Notre Dame…

1. Quit hiding behind the fact that you help out the service academies by playing them every year. You and your fans must only use one hand to pat yourselves on the back every year since you all need the other to collectively swat away the notion that Notre Dame isn’t as good as they think they are…AGAIN.

2. Quit hiding behind your storied program history. Princeton, Yale, Dartmouth, and Army won national championships in the past too…but they’re smart enough to know their place now.

This dominating 1884 Yale squad
went 8-0-1 -- with only 16 players.
Chris Gamble, eat your heart out!
All these guys played both sides
of the ball!


Finally, getting back to the BCS nonsense…let’s say Florida beats OSU for the national title.

Florida lost to Auburn, who lost to Georgia, who lost to Vanderbilt, who lost to Old Miss, who lost to Missouri, who lost to Oregon State…

…but Oregon State beat then #3 USC, who went on to trample former #2 Michigan in the Rose Bowl.

I can see the Gameday tagline next year:

“College football: More senseless than Bush’s propaganda!”

I need a drink.

Back Yard Football?

Big, big ups to the Broncos. No, not Denver, even though they do deserve some pub after falling flat on their faces this weekend, delivering a giant shit sandwich to a home crowd losing to the lowly 49ers. Any team which ventures inside the opponents red zone 3 times and once down to the 1 yard line and cannot get into the end zone deserves to be sitting at home while real men play in the post season. Fucking losers.

I digress. The intent here was to talk about the other Broncos. The ones from Boise State. After their 12-0 season, these Broncos were selected to play Oklahoma in the Fiesta Bowl. People in the sports world were laughing at this match up. Yes, Boise State was undefeated, but they play in a no-name conference. Oklahoma (#7) would surly win this game in the desert, played for the first time away from Tempe at University of Phoenix (not at a college, but the WEBISTE) Stadium in Glendale.

The Broncos of Boise State were determined to prove they were worthy of the big game nod. They held an 18 point lead in the third quarter, only to slowly watch is slip away. With one minute left on the clock in regulation, Boise State QB Jared Zabransky dropped back and threw a pass to his left. It was intercepted and taken to the house. This game was all but over. Boise State now trailed 35-28 with 1:02 left.

They quickly found themselves in more trouble, standing near mid field with seconds to go, facing a 4th and 18. The Sooners had this one in the bag. Until the Broncos ran a hook-and-ladder. Yup. You heard it. With seconds left in a BCS game and undefeated season on the line, Boise State head coach Chris Peterson calls a play glorified by Back Yard Quarterbacks around the nation. And they ran it to perfection, tying the score and sending the game into Overtime.

In overtime, Sooners running back Adrian Peterson took a hand off to the left, bounced outside, and waltzed into the end zone on the first play from scrimmage. Boise State had to answer the bell again.

Inside the 10 yard line, the Broncos lined up in the shot gun. Then QB Zabransky went in motion. WR Vinnie Peretta took the snap, rolled right, and hit a man in the end zone with a great touch pass. One point would tie it up again. But that wasn’t enough for Boise State. What was the good in being tied again? Their defense was tired and they were not going to stop Oklahoma. So Broncos Coach Peterson called for a two point conversion for the win.

I’ve gotta say, I love the call. Regardless of the outcome of the game, Peterson did what any GOOD coach is hired to do…put his team in the best situation to WIN. With one play from the 2 yard line, this game could be over. He’d look like a genius, his team would end the story book run.

So, with their nuts exposed to the world, the Boise State Broncos lined up for one final play. The call? Maybe a play action pass to a tight end? I blast up the middle behind their biggest lineman? A fade to your best leaping WR in the corner of the end zone?

Nope. The State of Liberty. With 3 wide to his right, Broncos QB took the snap, cocked, and handed the ball off behind his back to his running back who cruised into the end zone for the win.

And do you want Story Book? An ending that only the writers of some Teen-Angst Drama could script? That RB, Ian Johnson scored the winning TD, ran to his girlfriend on the sideline who is a Cheerleader at Boise State, dropped to a knee and asked for her hand in marriage.

Of course, she said yes.

But after all this, Boise State may be surrounded in controversy. One day after winning a game they weren't supposed to be playing in the first place, the Boise State Broncos are making many people question why a team that's 13-0 isn't playing for the National Championship.

Could the Broncos beat Ohio State? Who knows. But they should be given a CHANCE. I'm sure Coach Peterson has a few plays in his book that we'd all love to see.