Giant Vigina. Huge. Massive.
PUSSY.
Showing posts with label Cubs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Cubs. Show all posts
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Thursday, March 29, 2007
It's the Time of the Seeeeeeason for .....
First off, I'll be the first to admit it, we let you down. Our coverage of the whole NCAA Tourney has been shitty. But, in self defence, so has the tournament. A Final 4 in which a No. 1 plays a No. 2, ON EACH SIDE OF THE BRACKET? Booooooring.
So with that in mind, I say we just give Florida the Championship, mainly because they've got some ultra fine rah-rah's, like the one pictured below.
So with that in mind, I say we just give Florida the Championship, mainly because they've got some ultra fine rah-rah's, like the one pictured below.
Now with College Basketball out of the way, we can talk about the important stuff. Baseball starts next week. Thank god. The NBA sucks for a few more weeks, the NHL is a joke (read last week that UFC, the Ultimate Fighting Championship, has now surpassed the entire NHL in revenue. Nice job Original 6), and the pain from the Super Bowl is just starting to wear off.
The only thing that could save me from sporting depression is baseball. Next week players from around the country will board team chartered jets with their bags packed, leaving behind the sun drenched ladies commonly found in or around the Cactus or Pineapple League cities, and head to their respective home cities to start the long, grueling season.
I won't get into major predictions yet, but I will leave ya with this tasty nugg...The Cubs, with a severe pitching shortage, will win no more that 85 games this season.
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Football Decisions
Last night via teleconference the Chicago Bears announced that defensive coordinator Ron Rivera will not be returning to the team. Rivera's contract was up at the end of the season, and he told reporters that he was never offered a new contract. Rivera cited, "football differences" as the reason for the falling out, but was sure to stress the fact that the separation was amicable.
Then Lovie Smith got on. He said the reasoning for the 'firing' (because that's what it is) was that he (Smith) and Rivera were headed in opposite directions. He then took some questions, one of note being "how is this team better without Ron Rivera?"
Smith sounded angry when he replied, "You should trust me as a head football coach to put us in the best position to win football games. It's as simple as that."
What??
Since when is Lovie fucking Smith the end all - be all in the Bears organization? And based on Lovie's comments, this split was anything but amicable. It had NOTHING to do with money, and EVERYTHING to do with the relationship (or lack of) between Rivera & Smith. The team can try and spin this, try and slant it how they please, but the real fact of the matter here is Lovie Smith FIRED Ron Rivera.
Could the real reasoning behind this move be that Smith knows he can control Bob Babich, who has already been named Defensive Coordinator? Could it be that after Lovie sticks with Grossman again next year and the team fails (again) the people of Chicago will be calling for Lovie's head on a silver platter and he doesn't want to give the Bears the ideal in-house replacement?
I'm proposing a new moniker for the Chicago Bears' head coach...Dusty Smith...or Lovie Baker.
I'm going to step out while I'm at it...I'm officially going on record saying the Bears will be worse off next season without Rivera.
May these words echo in the ears of Bears fans around the world..."Rex is our Quarterback. Rex Grossman is a leader. I trust him with our football team as much as anything. You have to feel that way about the guy who makes everything click. I trust him. He's a good leader. He's a good football player. It's as simple as that."
Rot in HELL Lovie.
Then Lovie Smith got on. He said the reasoning for the 'firing' (because that's what it is) was that he (Smith) and Rivera were headed in opposite directions. He then took some questions, one of note being "how is this team better without Ron Rivera?"
Smith sounded angry when he replied, "You should trust me as a head football coach to put us in the best position to win football games. It's as simple as that."
What??
Since when is Lovie fucking Smith the end all - be all in the Bears organization? And based on Lovie's comments, this split was anything but amicable. It had NOTHING to do with money, and EVERYTHING to do with the relationship (or lack of) between Rivera & Smith. The team can try and spin this, try and slant it how they please, but the real fact of the matter here is Lovie Smith FIRED Ron Rivera.
Could the real reasoning behind this move be that Smith knows he can control Bob Babich, who has already been named Defensive Coordinator? Could it be that after Lovie sticks with Grossman again next year and the team fails (again) the people of Chicago will be calling for Lovie's head on a silver platter and he doesn't want to give the Bears the ideal in-house replacement?
I'm proposing a new moniker for the Chicago Bears' head coach...Dusty Smith...or Lovie Baker.
I'm going to step out while I'm at it...I'm officially going on record saying the Bears will be worse off next season without Rivera.May these words echo in the ears of Bears fans around the world..."Rex is our Quarterback. Rex Grossman is a leader. I trust him with our football team as much as anything. You have to feel that way about the guy who makes everything click. I trust him. He's a good leader. He's a good football player. It's as simple as that."
Rot in HELL Lovie.Tuesday, January 23, 2007
The Chump on the Bump
A story inspired by Dr. Seuss (and Jim Hendry)
In fact, he played two…
In one sport he caught,
In the other, he threw.
If we had Kenny Williams
A GM who makes moves
And still saves his club millions
In fact, he played two…
In one sport he caught,
In the other, he threw.
He liked each sport a lot,
But at the end of the day
He had to make up his mind
About which sport to play.
“One sport can fill egos
--that’s football, no doubt,
But baseball can fill up
My savings account.
“In one I’d feel worried…
Due to franchise bad luck,
But I don’t think I’d feel
Like I was hit by a truck.
“In one I’d feel good
Because the loyalty’s sacred…
In the other, a lack of
Performance means hatred.
“In one, I’d be running
From men, big and burly…
In the other, I’m certain
My season ends early!
“In one, if we win,
I could play in a bowl…
But in one, if we lose,
I'd still make payroll!”
With each talking point
Jeff’s mind kept on turning
He worried less about football
And more about earning.
With his future decided,
Jeff went to the media…
“Baseball it is!
Sorry football, be seein’ ya!
“I had a great time
As an ND receiver,
But as a potential Cubs starter
I’ll wind up a reliever,
“My checks will be huge
While I’m on the DL,
So be damned, NFL,
-- Goodell, go to hell!
“I’ll get Tommy John surgery
And recoup through ‘09
…Cubs fans will miss me so much
They’ll build me a shrine!
“With increased adulation
Having no stats to back it--
I can return with no skills
And blame Cubby ‘black magic’!
“Thank God for the Goat!
Give thanks to Steve Barton!
For every bad outing–
An excuse by the carton!
“I’ll have money and women,
My life will be sweet!
And all I need to lose
Is my will to compete!”
Accountability’s lost
While the GM's dropping pennies
The fans remain pissed…
But Jeff swears by Jim Hendry!
So the Chump on the Bump
Will give up football this spring
And also his chance
For a Super Bowl ring.
Yep, Jeff will play baseball
…but we all know the truth—
If we got offers from Hendry
We’d all wear Cubby Blue.
If we had Kenny Williams
A GM who makes moves
And still saves his club millions
But this is the story
of Jeff, and the reasons
For the Cubs’ fan main chorus--
“There’s always next season!”
-Rhino (the disgruntled Cubs fan)
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Winter Baseball Report
We find it easy this time of year to focus on the NFL intensively, but there is always news from the baseball world in the months leading up to spring training. I personally have decided to make a conscientious effort to stay on top of MLB happenings during the off season and spring training.
With that, I bring you the first MLB Report.
It’s being reported that the Texas Rangers have offered one time slugger, corked bat connoisseur, and suspected juicer ‘Slammin’ Sammy Sosa, a minor league deal. Texas, where Sosa started his career in 1989, is rumored to be close to a minor league deal which will get Sammy’s foot in the door for Spring Training.
"This is about giving a guy a second chance," general manager Jon Daniels said.
Great. Sammy’s GOOD for baseball. Just like Crack is good for kids…
What the hell are the Rangers thinking? Signing this guy to any sort of contract would be an absolute disaster. They should put a call into some of the Cubs who played with Mr. Sosa in his prime and see what they think of him. Not to mention the reaction Sosa would get standing in right field in virtually any MLB park outside of Texas. There’s a reason he hasn’t played in the league since 2005.
More on this story next week.
The Chicago White Sox have come to terms with their Super Star 3rd baseman Joe Crede.
Yes, I said SUPER STAR. Anyone who watched the MLB Playoffs in 2005 would know this kid from small town Missouri is the real deal.
By inking Crede to a one year, $4.94M contract, the Sox have avoided arbitration, but this season may be his last in a Sox uniform. Crede has been plagued by back problems for years, resulting in the Sox brass to refrain from signing Crede to a multi-year deal. They’ve also got 24 year old Josh Fields, a huge minor league prospect at 3rd base.
Crede’s future may be a question mark heading into the ’08 season, but for now he’s a member of the White Sox and that’s all that matters.
On the other side of town in Chicago, the Cubs have asked one time prospect and second coming of the Lord Jesus Christ himself Mark Prior, to take a pay cut. Prior, 1-6 with a 7.21 ERA last season, made $3.65M in another season shortened by injury. It was reported that he was seeking $3.875M payday this season. The Cubs have offered him $3.4M.
Prior, who has been with the Cubs since 2002, has only broken the 200 inning plateau once, in 2003, when he went 18-6 as a starter. Since then, he’s 18-17 and has pitched a total of 327.6 innings, with only 43 in the 2006 campaign.
In other Cubbie news, Carlos Zambrano has come to the table with a request for a considerable increase in pay. Last season Zambrano, 16-7 with a 3.41 ERA, was one of the few bright spots in a long and dismal year which ended with the departure of manager Dusty Baker. Zambrano’s paycheck? A respectable $6.65M. The Cubs have reportedly offered him $11.025M a year, a nice payday for the man who has emerged as the ace of the staff. But Zambrano has bigger plans. He has requested $15.5M in arbitration, and based on the Cubs’ spending as of late, he just may get it.
But the man who stands to make out the best this off-season may be Florida star Miguel Cabrera who is seeking $7.4M a year from the Marlins. Florida has offered Cabrera $6.7M. If Cabrera gets his way, he’s looking at a $6,928,000 a year raise. Not bad.
Here’s an interesting tidbit about the arbitration process: Overall, players in arbitration averaged a 109 percent increase last year
Other News:
It appears JD Drew’s 5 year $70M deal with Boston isn’t a done deal. The agreement was announced on Dec. 5, but as of today, Drew still does not have a contract with the team. Boston is concerned with Drew’s surgically repaired right shoulder.
Major League Baseball has chosen Yankee Stadium as the sight of the 2008 All Star Game. That will be a nice tribute to the stadium which has stood since 1923, which is closing in 2009.
The St. Louis Cardinals passed a series of screenings by the Department of Homeland Security and were at the White House the other day to meet President Bush after winning the 2006 World Series. David Eckstein presented Bush with a Cardinals jersey. Not present: Albert Pujols. He must have figured he looks too middle-eastern.
And finally, the San Francisco Giants announced they are having the largest scoreboard of any MLB park installed for the 2007 season. Is this a sign that Bonds’ head has grown even larger? Must be the flaxseed oil cream.
That’s it for now. Look for this column every Wednesday!
With that, I bring you the first MLB Report.
It’s being reported that the Texas Rangers have offered one time slugger, corked bat connoisseur, and suspected juicer ‘Slammin’ Sammy Sosa, a minor league deal. Texas, where Sosa started his career in 1989, is rumored to be close to a minor league deal which will get Sammy’s foot in the door for Spring Training.
"This is about giving a guy a second chance," general manager Jon Daniels said.
Great. Sammy’s GOOD for baseball. Just like Crack is good for kids…
What the hell are the Rangers thinking? Signing this guy to any sort of contract would be an absolute disaster. They should put a call into some of the Cubs who played with Mr. Sosa in his prime and see what they think of him. Not to mention the reaction Sosa would get standing in right field in virtually any MLB park outside of Texas. There’s a reason he hasn’t played in the league since 2005.
More on this story next week.
The Chicago White Sox have come to terms with their Super Star 3rd baseman Joe Crede.
Yes, I said SUPER STAR. Anyone who watched the MLB Playoffs in 2005 would know this kid from small town Missouri is the real deal.
By inking Crede to a one year, $4.94M contract, the Sox have avoided arbitration, but this season may be his last in a Sox uniform. Crede has been plagued by back problems for years, resulting in the Sox brass to refrain from signing Crede to a multi-year deal. They’ve also got 24 year old Josh Fields, a huge minor league prospect at 3rd base.
Crede’s future may be a question mark heading into the ’08 season, but for now he’s a member of the White Sox and that’s all that matters.
On the other side of town in Chicago, the Cubs have asked one time prospect and second coming of the Lord Jesus Christ himself Mark Prior, to take a pay cut. Prior, 1-6 with a 7.21 ERA last season, made $3.65M in another season shortened by injury. It was reported that he was seeking $3.875M payday this season. The Cubs have offered him $3.4M.
Prior, who has been with the Cubs since 2002, has only broken the 200 inning plateau once, in 2003, when he went 18-6 as a starter. Since then, he’s 18-17 and has pitched a total of 327.6 innings, with only 43 in the 2006 campaign.
In other Cubbie news, Carlos Zambrano has come to the table with a request for a considerable increase in pay. Last season Zambrano, 16-7 with a 3.41 ERA, was one of the few bright spots in a long and dismal year which ended with the departure of manager Dusty Baker. Zambrano’s paycheck? A respectable $6.65M. The Cubs have reportedly offered him $11.025M a year, a nice payday for the man who has emerged as the ace of the staff. But Zambrano has bigger plans. He has requested $15.5M in arbitration, and based on the Cubs’ spending as of late, he just may get it.
But the man who stands to make out the best this off-season may be Florida star Miguel Cabrera who is seeking $7.4M a year from the Marlins. Florida has offered Cabrera $6.7M. If Cabrera gets his way, he’s looking at a $6,928,000 a year raise. Not bad.
Here’s an interesting tidbit about the arbitration process: Overall, players in arbitration averaged a 109 percent increase last year
Other News:
It appears JD Drew’s 5 year $70M deal with Boston isn’t a done deal. The agreement was announced on Dec. 5, but as of today, Drew still does not have a contract with the team. Boston is concerned with Drew’s surgically repaired right shoulder.
Major League Baseball has chosen Yankee Stadium as the sight of the 2008 All Star Game. That will be a nice tribute to the stadium which has stood since 1923, which is closing in 2009.
The St. Louis Cardinals passed a series of screenings by the Department of Homeland Security and were at the White House the other day to meet President Bush after winning the 2006 World Series. David Eckstein presented Bush with a Cardinals jersey. Not present: Albert Pujols. He must have figured he looks too middle-eastern.
And finally, the San Francisco Giants announced they are having the largest scoreboard of any MLB park installed for the 2007 season. Is this a sign that Bonds’ head has grown even larger? Must be the flaxseed oil cream.
That’s it for now. Look for this column every Wednesday!
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