Winter Baseball Report #2

Winter Baseball Report #2

I’m baaaaaaaack.

This weeks MLB news has been slow, but hardly non-existent. Here’s a taste of what has transpired in the last seven days around the league.

White Sox left fielder Scott Podsednik will undergo groin surgery which will leave him sidelined for the next six to eight weeks. Sources close to Podsednik are referring to the injury as a ‘sports hernia’ but I think we all know what happened to Pods…



















I hope, for Scotty’s sake, the injury came trying to pull a maneuver outlined on page 36 of the Karma Sutra with Mrs. Pods, Lisa Dergan.

The White Sox announced they have come to terms with Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim (that name just slides right off the tongue, doesn’t it?) OF Darin Erstad.

Speaking of the Angels, Dallas McPherson, the 26-year-old kid they pegged as Troy Glaus’ replacement (and were so confident they let Glaus go in Free Agency) will miss the entire season after surgery to remove a herniated disc in his lower back.

Carlos Delgado’s gonna be a daddy. But it seems the timing of the whole thing may cause him to miss a handful of games at the start of the season.

The Phillies have signed Antonio Alfonseca to a one year deal for the league minimum of $380,000.

The Twins agreed to a one year deal with pitcher Ramon Ortiz, formerly with the Washington Nationals.

The Padres inked 43-year-old lefty David Wells to a one year, $3M deal.

The Brewers came to a one year, $3.25M agreement with INF Tony Graffanino. Graffanino, a utility infielder, hit .28- last season with 2 HR and 28 RBI’s. $3.25 mildo? That’s like stealing!

And finally, the Cubs agreed to a 5 year, $10M contract with Notre Dame Football legend Jeff Samardzija. There’s a lot I could say there, but I think Rhino summed it up perfectly.

The Chump on the Bump

A story inspired by Dr. Seuss (and Jim Hendry)

Jeff played a sport,
In fact, he played two…
In one sport he caught,
In the other, he threw.

He liked each sport a lot,
But at the end of the day
He had to make up his mind
About which sport to play.

“One sport can fill egos
--that’s football, no doubt,
But baseball can fill up
My savings account.

“In one I’d feel worried…
Due to franchise bad luck,
But I don’t think I’d feel
Like I was hit by a truck.

“In one I’d feel good
Because the loyalty’s sacred…
In the other, a lack of
Performance means hatred.

“In one, I’d be running
From men, big and burly…
In the other, I’m certain
My season ends early!

“In one, if we win,
I could play in a bowl…
But in one, if we lose,
I'd still make payroll!”

With each talking point
Jeff’s mind kept on turning
He worried less about football
And more about earning.

With his future decided,
Jeff went to the media…
“Baseball it is!
Sorry football, be seein’ ya!

“I had a great time
As an ND receiver,
But as a potential Cubs starter
I’ll wind up a reliever,

“My checks will be huge
While I’m on the DL,
So be damned, NFL,
-- Goodell, go to hell!

“I’ll get Tommy John surgery
And recoup through ‘09
…Cubs fans will miss me so much
They’ll build me a shrine!

“With increased adulation
Having no stats to back it--
I can return with no skills
And blame Cubby ‘black magic’!

“Thank God for the Goat!
Give thanks to Steve Barton!
For every bad outing–
An excuse by the carton!

“I’ll have money and women,
My life will be sweet!
And all I need to lose
Is my will to compete!”

Accountability’s lost
While the GM's dropping pennies
The fans remain pissed…
But Jeff swears by Jim Hendry!

So the Chump on the Bump
Will give up football this spring
And also his chance
For a Super Bowl ring.

Yep, Jeff will play baseball
…but we all know the truth—
If we got offers from Hendry
We’d all wear Cubby Blue.

Perhaps things would change
If we had Kenny Williams
A GM who makes moves
And still saves his club millions

But this is the story
of Jeff, and the reasons
For the Cubs’ fan main chorus--
“There’s always next season!”

Thank God for the Bears.

-Rhino (the disgruntled Cubs fan)