"I'm Rich Biaatch!"

Remember those days as a kid when we all dreamed of being a baseball player? You know, an MVP. An All-Star. The World Series hero. I'm here to tell you that we were all shooting way too high. The real money is in being a mediocre baseball player.

Now, first let me state that I am a Whitesox fan. I have been known as somewhat of a pessimist, constantly bitching about Reinsdorf's lack of money spent on free agents. He is now getting blasted for not signing any free agents this offseason, but I for one am glad he hasn't. With the way this offseason is shaping up many teams are mortgaging their future for what? Average and below average players. Remember a few winters ago when MLB owners seemed to have a surplus of money? Players were signed to record deals. A-Rod signed for $125 mil, Manny signed for a little less. These are two of the best players in the game, but because of their contracts teams were weary to make a trade for them. Salaries quickly declined for the next several years. That is, until this year.

People who know me know I do not like the Cubs. I don't like their fans, their circus like ballpark, or pretty much anything else they stand for. But I will admit and give props when they make a good deal. I liked when they traded for Derek Lee. I also liked when they acquired Juan Pierre. And I also felt that the Cezar Izturis trade was smart. But I have to laugh at many of their offseason moves this year.

Just as the Sox have gotten roasted for not signing free agents, Jim Hendry is getting praised for improving his team. He deserves none of this. Anyone can throw a shitload of money at crap and get them to come play for them. Now, like I said, I will give props where they are due. He signed Soriano, the top free agent this year. He gave him way too much money and way too many years, but sometimes that is justifiable when you are getting a prize like Soriano. But his other moves, Yikes! Ted Lilly at 4 years $40 mil?!?! A guy of his caliber is not worth half of that. Aramis Ramirez got signed to a $73 million contract? Sure, he hit homers last year, but where was he when Derek Lee was out? You know, when the team needed him. Nowhere, thats where. Mark DeRosa at just over $4 mil a year? Is he even worth $1 mil a year? I'm going to say no. And last, but definately not least since this may go down as one of the worst signings ever, Jason Marquis at 3 years $21 mil. Come on, I had as many post season appearances as this guy last year, zero. Tony LaRussa and Co. are laughing their asses off at this one. They must love the fact that this pile of cow dung stayed in their division. Guaranteed Cardinal wins in the games Marquis pitches.

Now, the Cubs aren't the only team that is spending money like Paris Hilton does on VD treatment. There are three that really stick out. The first is Kansas City. Gil Meche for $11 mil a year for 5 years? This team is way more than an average pitcher away from from even being respectable. So why spend that kind of dough on one middle of the road pitcher? Who the hell knows.

The second is Boston signing JD Drew. The Killer Virgin signed for 5 years $70 million. Has he even come close to living up to his potential? Hell no! And if I remember correct, the Yankees signed Johnny "The Passion" Damon to a 5 year $55 million contract because Boston (you know, the Cubs of the AL) believed his price tag was too high. Now, honestly, who would you rather have patrolling CF, the Killer Virgin or Jesus Christ? I'm going with Yahweh!

The third is Barry Bonds. This asshole just last week actually carted his roided up ass to the Winter Meetings begging for a contract. Did anyone bite? No way. You would think the Giants would have lowballed him, but they didn't. $16 mil for one year. Outrageous.

There have been many other questionable high priced signings, but does anyone else find it funny that there is one team out there not making a lot of noise: The Yankees? Not me, they are smart to stand pat and do minor tweaking. So are the Sox. In a year or two the bottom will fall out on this seasons signing, teams will be stuck with huge contracts, crying poor, and held hostige by all of this. Unless the Sox were to get Soriano or Zito, I would hope they wouldn't spend that kind of money on crap. Instead, take that money and resign some of your upcoming free agents, make some trades, and just be smart with your payroll. I just have a feeling that most owners are going to get bitten in the ass by all of this, with people like Kenny Williams and Billy Beane laughing their asses off.