Who the fuck designed these shirts?
MAMQB Writer Guy Monaco cannot be reached for questioning and has become the #1 suspect in the case....
Friday, March 30, 2007
Thursday, March 29, 2007
It's the Time of the Seeeeeeason for .....
First off, I'll be the first to admit it, we let you down. Our coverage of the whole NCAA Tourney has been shitty. But, in self defence, so has the tournament. A Final 4 in which a No. 1 plays a No. 2, ON EACH SIDE OF THE BRACKET? Booooooring.
So with that in mind, I say we just give Florida the Championship, mainly because they've got some ultra fine rah-rah's, like the one pictured below.
So with that in mind, I say we just give Florida the Championship, mainly because they've got some ultra fine rah-rah's, like the one pictured below.
Now with College Basketball out of the way, we can talk about the important stuff. Baseball starts next week. Thank god. The NBA sucks for a few more weeks, the NHL is a joke (read last week that UFC, the Ultimate Fighting Championship, has now surpassed the entire NHL in revenue. Nice job Original 6), and the pain from the Super Bowl is just starting to wear off.
The only thing that could save me from sporting depression is baseball. Next week players from around the country will board team chartered jets with their bags packed, leaving behind the sun drenched ladies commonly found in or around the Cactus or Pineapple League cities, and head to their respective home cities to start the long, grueling season.
I won't get into major predictions yet, but I will leave ya with this tasty nugg...The Cubs, with a severe pitching shortage, will win no more that 85 games this season.
Monday, March 19, 2007
First Weekend Recap
OK, so I have egg on my face. At least I can take some comfort in the fact that I did pick the VCU and Winthrop upsets, and I was right when I said the Nevada-Creighton game would be the best game of the first round, which it was since it was the only OT game that round. And my Salukis are still alive, so I really don't give a fuck if all my other predictions are wrong.
Well, maybe I wish one prediction would have come true: I wish Kansas would have fallen to Kentucky. Now SIU has to play the Jayhawks, and that makes me nervous. Not that my opinion of Bill Self's coaching abilities, or lack thereof, has changed. I just fear that he has recruited such a great squad that even he can't fuck this one up. I hope I am wrong though. Hopefully SIU's defense fucks with Self's head so bad that he has a nervous breakdown. I don't see it happening though.
All I heard today was how the committee got it right this time: no double digit seeds in the Sweet 16, and the sum of all the seeds left is 51, which is the lowest it has been since 1995 when it was also 51 (the lowest it can be is 40, the lowest it has ever been is 50 in 1989, and the average is around 70). Well, I heard about that, and the fact that Illinois choked. Yeah, they blew a double digit lead, but I wouldn't say that they choked as bad as Wisconsin, who was ranked #1 just 3 weeks ago and got bounced yesterday by UNLV. And they looked like absolute dogshit in their first round game.
I also was wrong about Memphis. I still don't understand why they got the seeding they did with the conference they play in, but they beat Nevada, who I thought would run away and hide from Memphis. They're good, but I don't see them going to the Final Four. I've been wrong before though.
Then there's Texas. I drank the Longhorn Kool-Aid, had them in my Final Four. It was nice to hear Kevin Durant after the game say that he regrets not playing harder this whole season. Now, he did have 30 points in their loss, but for him to say that is just stupid. To hear the oafs at the Boo-Yah Network try to defend his remarks and say that he "didn't mean it that way" was even more ridiculous. He meant it, and I think Greg Oden should be thanking him now, because I think that may be in the back of the minds of whatever team holds the #1 pick this year and they will probably opt for Oden.
Speaking of the neaderthal looking phenom who dons a Buckeyes uniform, I only heard a few people actually mention what my buddies and I were saying at the end of regulation of the OSU-Xavier game: The Muskateers got fucked. Yeah, they missed the free throw to seal the game. And yeah, they should have fouled rather than let OSU shoot that 3 to tie it, but if Oden's final foul was not flagrant then I don't know what is. He came up and shoved the guy. Xavier should have gotten the ball after the missed free throw. Although I have OSU in the final game in my bracket, or what's left of my bracket, I wanted to see the upset. After all, thats the charm of March Madness.
Had OSU lost, the Big Ten would have 0 teams in the Sweet Sixteen. As it stands they have one out of 6 that entered the tournament. Same with the ACC. Same amount of bids as the Valley. Same as the Mountain West. Same as the Horizon League. Just more support for an argument that more mid-major teams should be let in with at large bids instead of rewarding the lower teams of the so called power conferences.
Well, maybe I wish one prediction would have come true: I wish Kansas would have fallen to Kentucky. Now SIU has to play the Jayhawks, and that makes me nervous. Not that my opinion of Bill Self's coaching abilities, or lack thereof, has changed. I just fear that he has recruited such a great squad that even he can't fuck this one up. I hope I am wrong though. Hopefully SIU's defense fucks with Self's head so bad that he has a nervous breakdown. I don't see it happening though.
All I heard today was how the committee got it right this time: no double digit seeds in the Sweet 16, and the sum of all the seeds left is 51, which is the lowest it has been since 1995 when it was also 51 (the lowest it can be is 40, the lowest it has ever been is 50 in 1989, and the average is around 70). Well, I heard about that, and the fact that Illinois choked. Yeah, they blew a double digit lead, but I wouldn't say that they choked as bad as Wisconsin, who was ranked #1 just 3 weeks ago and got bounced yesterday by UNLV. And they looked like absolute dogshit in their first round game.
I also was wrong about Memphis. I still don't understand why they got the seeding they did with the conference they play in, but they beat Nevada, who I thought would run away and hide from Memphis. They're good, but I don't see them going to the Final Four. I've been wrong before though.
Then there's Texas. I drank the Longhorn Kool-Aid, had them in my Final Four. It was nice to hear Kevin Durant after the game say that he regrets not playing harder this whole season. Now, he did have 30 points in their loss, but for him to say that is just stupid. To hear the oafs at the Boo-Yah Network try to defend his remarks and say that he "didn't mean it that way" was even more ridiculous. He meant it, and I think Greg Oden should be thanking him now, because I think that may be in the back of the minds of whatever team holds the #1 pick this year and they will probably opt for Oden.
Speaking of the neaderthal looking phenom who dons a Buckeyes uniform, I only heard a few people actually mention what my buddies and I were saying at the end of regulation of the OSU-Xavier game: The Muskateers got fucked. Yeah, they missed the free throw to seal the game. And yeah, they should have fouled rather than let OSU shoot that 3 to tie it, but if Oden's final foul was not flagrant then I don't know what is. He came up and shoved the guy. Xavier should have gotten the ball after the missed free throw. Although I have OSU in the final game in my bracket, or what's left of my bracket, I wanted to see the upset. After all, thats the charm of March Madness.
Had OSU lost, the Big Ten would have 0 teams in the Sweet Sixteen. As it stands they have one out of 6 that entered the tournament. Same with the ACC. Same amount of bids as the Valley. Same as the Mountain West. Same as the Horizon League. Just more support for an argument that more mid-major teams should be let in with at large bids instead of rewarding the lower teams of the so called power conferences.
Saturday, March 17, 2007
No Illiniwek, No Second Round.
Illinois was hoping for some 12 vs. 5 mojo Friday night, and for 2/3 of a basketball game, they had it. With five minutes left on the clock, the Fighting Illini had a ten point lead and things were looking good for Bruce Weber & Co.But like a broken down coke slut on the receiving end of a Johnny Holmes dome shot, Illinois choked.
The Fighting Illini did not score in the final 4:25 of regulation, watching their hopes and dreams of March Magic crumble before their very eyes.
End result: Virginia Tech 54, Illinois 52
The Hokies will move onto round two and face Weber’s former team, the Salukis of Southern Illinois. I for one was hoping Illinois would hold on and win, just so I could see them sent home on Sunday by SIU.
Instead, Weber heads back to his office in Champaign today to put the pieces together. Coach, here are a few tips for next season…
1. Establish a go-to man. Down the stretch, your team does not have a clutch shooter. With 10 seconds left on the clock, whose number are you calling?
2. Get your house in order. Your guys are turning into the Cincinnati Bengals of the NCAA.
3. Bring back Illiniwek. Tell Miles Brand, Chief Running Water, and anyone else who has a problem with him to suck a fat one and get that goofy bastard back on the court.
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
Lance Briggs = Giant Douche
Lance Briggs is a dumb fuck. Yup, I said it. And the vulgarities are necessary. I’d call him retarded but that would do injustice to the millions of people who had no say in the process of life that rendered them, well, retarded.
So I’ll stick with Dumb Fuck. It works better for our purposes here.
To recap: After a Super Bowl losing season the Bears began negotiations with Briggs, 26-year-old OLB who was originally signed for $725,000 over four seasons. Negotiations broke down quickly when Briggs rejected a reported 6 year, $33M deal.
The Bears eventually slapped the “Franchise Tag” on him guaranteeing Briggs to be paid the average annual salary of the top five players at his position, which comes to a c-hair over $7.2M for the 2007 NFL season. (FYI-that’s a 1,000% increase in pay in one year. My last raise…2.5%)
Things were quiet for a few days. Then, Briggs came forward publicly stating the Bears should remove the franchise tag or trade him. He even went another step further in an interview on WSCR670, saying he would do everything within his power to leave the Bears.
And early this week Briggs spoke up again, this time insisting he’s done with the Bears and stated he would rather sit out and take out loans to pay his expenses than take the field in 2007.
"I've played my last snap for them. I'll never play another down for Chicago again."
And the whole time Lance was sure to be clear it wasn’t about the money.
Well Lance, here’s a little lesson in MONEY…
The Bears could slap the franchise tag on you for the next two seasons. You’d end up with around $15M. Then, after six seasons in the NFL, move the hell on, get that signing bonus and be done. (Joey Porter got $32M for 5 years with $20M guaranteed this off season. And I got news for ya, you’re not Joey Porter)
$15M for the next two seasons is a fuck of a lot better than $0 over the next two tax years, isn’t it Lance?
If I were Jerry Angelo, I’d let this dumb fuck sit out this season and slap the franchise tag on him again next season, just to prove a point.
So I’ll stick with Dumb Fuck. It works better for our purposes here.
To recap: After a Super Bowl losing season the Bears began negotiations with Briggs, 26-year-old OLB who was originally signed for $725,000 over four seasons. Negotiations broke down quickly when Briggs rejected a reported 6 year, $33M deal.
The Bears eventually slapped the “Franchise Tag” on him guaranteeing Briggs to be paid the average annual salary of the top five players at his position, which comes to a c-hair over $7.2M for the 2007 NFL season. (FYI-that’s a 1,000% increase in pay in one year. My last raise…2.5%)
Things were quiet for a few days. Then, Briggs came forward publicly stating the Bears should remove the franchise tag or trade him. He even went another step further in an interview on WSCR670, saying he would do everything within his power to leave the Bears.
And early this week Briggs spoke up again, this time insisting he’s done with the Bears and stated he would rather sit out and take out loans to pay his expenses than take the field in 2007.
"I've played my last snap for them. I'll never play another down for Chicago again."
And the whole time Lance was sure to be clear it wasn’t about the money.
Well Lance, here’s a little lesson in MONEY…
The Bears could slap the franchise tag on you for the next two seasons. You’d end up with around $15M. Then, after six seasons in the NFL, move the hell on, get that signing bonus and be done. (Joey Porter got $32M for 5 years with $20M guaranteed this off season. And I got news for ya, you’re not Joey Porter)
$15M for the next two seasons is a fuck of a lot better than $0 over the next two tax years, isn’t it Lance?
If I were Jerry Angelo, I’d let this dumb fuck sit out this season and slap the franchise tag on him again next season, just to prove a point.
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
More Madness!
I'd like to first make another comment on Syracuse not getting in: I'm sick and tired of Jim Boeheim lobbying to expand the tournament. The thought of that is ridiculous. So you expand it to 128 teams, then what? There will still be people bitching about their team not getting in. The format is perfect the way it is, leave it alone!
Tonight is the Play in game, oh, I'm sorry it is now referred to as the Opening Round (have to be politically correct here!). Who cares about this game? Nobody. They should do away with it. Or, they should have the last two bubble teams to get in play in it, not two teams who did what was asked of them by winning their conference tournament. Just another way the selection committee sticks it to the little guy.
Anyway.....
EAST
North Carolina gets the #1 seed here, and they deserve it. They have a young, talent laiden team and have one of the premier coaches in basketball. They should have no problem getting past the first round, but the path after that gets a little harder.
UNC will play the winner of the 8-9 matchup between Michigan State and Marquette two quality programs who are having down years. This is another matchup between student and teacher, as Marquette coach Tom Crean was a longtime assistant under MSU coach Tom Izzo. Both coaches have Final Four experience. MSU has a very young team, but I don't know if there is a better coach come tourny time than Izzo. I think MSU will win here and give UNC a run for their money, but in the end the Tarheels will prevail.
The 5-12 matchup pits USC vs. Arkansas. No upset here. Arkansas should be playing in the NIT, not this tournament. Look for Tim Floyd and Co. to blow the Razorbacks out.
The 4-13 matchup has Texas vs. New Mexico State. The Longhorns have the most exciting player in basketball in Kevin Durant. This guy is a stud, one who could carry his team a long way ala Carmello Anthony did a few years with Syracuse. New Mexicao State is no slouch though. Coach Reggie Theius has this program heading in the right direction. I just think Durant will be too much for them to handle though. I will go as far as to say Texas will knock off USC in the next round too.
#6 Vanderbuilt against #11 George Washington. GW is another underrated team and I think they will pull off the upset and send the Commodores home early.
Washington State vs. Oral Roberts. Reminds me of a joke: What do you call two gay guys named Bob? Oral Roberts. Washington State has a great team this year and should have no problem making it to the Sweet 16.
#7 Boston College vs. #10 Texas Tech. Upset here as the winningest coach in college basketball will chalk up another victory and move on to the second round. Air General shouldn't be choking any of his players during this one as the Red Raiders pull off the upset.
That means Texas Tech will play the toast of the Big East, Georgetown. Its the second coming of the Georgetown Dynasty of the 80's: John Thompson III takes over where his dad left off, and Patrick Ewing Jr., who is a different type of player than his dad was (and looks more like a human and less like a star of those Geico commercials than his dad does) make people wax nostalgic of the great Hoyas teams of past. Look for them to go to the Elite Eight.
Coming out of this region I see Kevin Durant take all his anger out on his foes after losing a heartbreaker to Kansas in the Big XII Championship, disposing of UNC and Georgetown along the way.
SOUTH
I think the easiest road for a #1 seed is paved in the South. There Big Ten champion and #1 ranked team Ohio State should go all the way with ease. Yet another young team, most of their players will probably be lottery picks in this June's NBA draft. If not for the new rule of having to spend 1 year in college before going pro this team would be average. But coach Thad Motta rolled the dice for one year here and it should pay off. Greg Oden, who outside the aforementioned Durant is the best player in the game, is just now getting back to normal after an early season wrist injury sidelined him for awhile. In the second round they will play the winner of BYU vs. Xavier. Look for the X Men to win and set up an in state matchup with the Buckeyes where OSU will put on a show.
The 5-12 matchup is Tennessee vs. Long Beach State. Let me first state this: For the second year in a row Tennessee got a gift when it came to seeding. Bruce Pearl is known for openly lobbying with the selection committee and it must be paying off. I'm taking Tennessee here, but that is just because I am not too keen on Long Beach State. I wouldn't be the least bit suprised if there was another 5-12 upset here though. Let's just hope Vols Women's coach Pat Summitt doesn't dress in a cheerleader outfit again, or, worse yet, come out and strip at center court.
Whoever wins there plays the winner of Virginia vs. Albany. Out of the four #4 seeds I think Virginia is the weakest. Albany is definitely a sleeper, but as a safe pick I'm taking Virginia. Whoever wins this game should beat the winner of Tennessee/LBS.
Louisville vs. Stanford. Louisville. Pitino. Playing a team that should not be in the tourny. Louisville kicks the shit out of them.
Texas A & M vs. Penn. Do I even have to go through this one? Acie Law IV is a stud. A&M is vastly underrated. They are playing an Ivy League team. Bye bye Penn.
Nevada vs. Creighton. I love both teams. The Wolfpack went 25-4 and are a # 7 seed? The Bluejays won the Missouri Valley Tournament (#5 conference RPI, in front of the Big XII and fractions of a point behind the Big East, so don't try and use the weak conference arguement this year with them), were in the hunt until the last week of the season for the regular season title, and they are a 10 seed? Nick Fazekas vs. Nate Funk, and Creighton's big man Anthony Tolliver is no slouch either. This will be a can't miss game to watch. This one will go down to the wire, but I think Creighton will eek out the win.
Finally there is Memphis. They got the #2 seed. I wonder who John Calipari had to blow to get that. Sure, they went 30-3 and won their conference tournament, but they play in Conference USA. That used to be one of the premier conferences up until a couple of years ago when the Big East took all of the talented schools such as Marquette, Cincinnati, DePaul, and Louisville. Memphis was smart: they knew they would have free reign over a highly inept conference. I just don't understand how Nevada gets a #7 seed and Memphis gets a #2 seed. Nevada had one more loss, but I challenge anybody to try to prove to me that the WAC is not a highly superior conference over the one that Memphis plays in. Anyway, Memphis should beat North Texas, but who knows? I think North Texas is actually better than any of the teams in Conference USA, so anything could happen. All I know is John Calipari's hummers can't save his ass in the second round where he will lose badly to the winner of the Creighton/Nevada game.
I see a Texas A&M vs. Ohio State showdown in the Elite Eight, with the Buckeyes ending the Aggies dream.
FINAL FOUR
Florida, UCLA, Texas, and Ohio State. There will be a repeat of the football National Championship game with Florida causing even more problems for Ohio State and defending their crown.
Tonight is the Play in game, oh, I'm sorry it is now referred to as the Opening Round (have to be politically correct here!). Who cares about this game? Nobody. They should do away with it. Or, they should have the last two bubble teams to get in play in it, not two teams who did what was asked of them by winning their conference tournament. Just another way the selection committee sticks it to the little guy.
Anyway.....
EAST
North Carolina gets the #1 seed here, and they deserve it. They have a young, talent laiden team and have one of the premier coaches in basketball. They should have no problem getting past the first round, but the path after that gets a little harder.
UNC will play the winner of the 8-9 matchup between Michigan State and Marquette two quality programs who are having down years. This is another matchup between student and teacher, as Marquette coach Tom Crean was a longtime assistant under MSU coach Tom Izzo. Both coaches have Final Four experience. MSU has a very young team, but I don't know if there is a better coach come tourny time than Izzo. I think MSU will win here and give UNC a run for their money, but in the end the Tarheels will prevail.
The 5-12 matchup pits USC vs. Arkansas. No upset here. Arkansas should be playing in the NIT, not this tournament. Look for Tim Floyd and Co. to blow the Razorbacks out.
The 4-13 matchup has Texas vs. New Mexico State. The Longhorns have the most exciting player in basketball in Kevin Durant. This guy is a stud, one who could carry his team a long way ala Carmello Anthony did a few years with Syracuse. New Mexicao State is no slouch though. Coach Reggie Theius has this program heading in the right direction. I just think Durant will be too much for them to handle though. I will go as far as to say Texas will knock off USC in the next round too.
#6 Vanderbuilt against #11 George Washington. GW is another underrated team and I think they will pull off the upset and send the Commodores home early.
Washington State vs. Oral Roberts. Reminds me of a joke: What do you call two gay guys named Bob? Oral Roberts. Washington State has a great team this year and should have no problem making it to the Sweet 16.
#7 Boston College vs. #10 Texas Tech. Upset here as the winningest coach in college basketball will chalk up another victory and move on to the second round. Air General shouldn't be choking any of his players during this one as the Red Raiders pull off the upset.
That means Texas Tech will play the toast of the Big East, Georgetown. Its the second coming of the Georgetown Dynasty of the 80's: John Thompson III takes over where his dad left off, and Patrick Ewing Jr., who is a different type of player than his dad was (and looks more like a human and less like a star of those Geico commercials than his dad does) make people wax nostalgic of the great Hoyas teams of past. Look for them to go to the Elite Eight.
Coming out of this region I see Kevin Durant take all his anger out on his foes after losing a heartbreaker to Kansas in the Big XII Championship, disposing of UNC and Georgetown along the way.
SOUTH
I think the easiest road for a #1 seed is paved in the South. There Big Ten champion and #1 ranked team Ohio State should go all the way with ease. Yet another young team, most of their players will probably be lottery picks in this June's NBA draft. If not for the new rule of having to spend 1 year in college before going pro this team would be average. But coach Thad Motta rolled the dice for one year here and it should pay off. Greg Oden, who outside the aforementioned Durant is the best player in the game, is just now getting back to normal after an early season wrist injury sidelined him for awhile. In the second round they will play the winner of BYU vs. Xavier. Look for the X Men to win and set up an in state matchup with the Buckeyes where OSU will put on a show.
The 5-12 matchup is Tennessee vs. Long Beach State. Let me first state this: For the second year in a row Tennessee got a gift when it came to seeding. Bruce Pearl is known for openly lobbying with the selection committee and it must be paying off. I'm taking Tennessee here, but that is just because I am not too keen on Long Beach State. I wouldn't be the least bit suprised if there was another 5-12 upset here though. Let's just hope Vols Women's coach Pat Summitt doesn't dress in a cheerleader outfit again, or, worse yet, come out and strip at center court.
Whoever wins there plays the winner of Virginia vs. Albany. Out of the four #4 seeds I think Virginia is the weakest. Albany is definitely a sleeper, but as a safe pick I'm taking Virginia. Whoever wins this game should beat the winner of Tennessee/LBS.
Louisville vs. Stanford. Louisville. Pitino. Playing a team that should not be in the tourny. Louisville kicks the shit out of them.
Texas A & M vs. Penn. Do I even have to go through this one? Acie Law IV is a stud. A&M is vastly underrated. They are playing an Ivy League team. Bye bye Penn.
Nevada vs. Creighton. I love both teams. The Wolfpack went 25-4 and are a # 7 seed? The Bluejays won the Missouri Valley Tournament (#5 conference RPI, in front of the Big XII and fractions of a point behind the Big East, so don't try and use the weak conference arguement this year with them), were in the hunt until the last week of the season for the regular season title, and they are a 10 seed? Nick Fazekas vs. Nate Funk, and Creighton's big man Anthony Tolliver is no slouch either. This will be a can't miss game to watch. This one will go down to the wire, but I think Creighton will eek out the win.
Finally there is Memphis. They got the #2 seed. I wonder who John Calipari had to blow to get that. Sure, they went 30-3 and won their conference tournament, but they play in Conference USA. That used to be one of the premier conferences up until a couple of years ago when the Big East took all of the talented schools such as Marquette, Cincinnati, DePaul, and Louisville. Memphis was smart: they knew they would have free reign over a highly inept conference. I just don't understand how Nevada gets a #7 seed and Memphis gets a #2 seed. Nevada had one more loss, but I challenge anybody to try to prove to me that the WAC is not a highly superior conference over the one that Memphis plays in. Anyway, Memphis should beat North Texas, but who knows? I think North Texas is actually better than any of the teams in Conference USA, so anything could happen. All I know is John Calipari's hummers can't save his ass in the second round where he will lose badly to the winner of the Creighton/Nevada game.
I see a Texas A&M vs. Ohio State showdown in the Elite Eight, with the Buckeyes ending the Aggies dream.
FINAL FOUR
Florida, UCLA, Texas, and Ohio State. There will be a repeat of the football National Championship game with Florida causing even more problems for Ohio State and defending their crown.
Monday, March 12, 2007
Madness!
Ahh, my favorite time of the year: March Madness. A time when Cinderella can have a glimpse of the slipper for one night. All it takes is one odd bounce of the ball in either direction to keep one team's season alive and end another's. Being the College Basketball buff that I am I figured I'd throw my two cents out there now on this year's tournament.
First, let's look at who got in and who was left out. Of course there is Syracuse. Heard about them all day, heard their coach crying about it all day. I have no sympathy for them. Yes, they probably should have been in instead of a few other teams, but how many teams from the Big East should go? Fuck 'em, they should have taken care of business. If they had a similar record and did not play in the Big East you would not hear one person crying for them.
Air Force. They should be there. Good record, decent Mid Major Conference, and they beat Texas Tech, UNLV, and Stanford, who are all in.
Drexel should also be there. Contrary to what the selection committee (and Billy "Fudge" Packer) believes, America wants to see more Mid Majors in there. The biggest charm to the tournament is the David defeats Goliath games. I know: How many teams from the Colonial Athletic Conference should be there? Well, this year the answer is three: Va Commonwealth (they won the automatic bid), Drexel, and Old Dominion, since they beat Drexel twice.
The biggest snub, and they got snubbed for the second year in a row, was Missouri State. #36 RPI. Their conference (Missouri Valley) is #6 RPI. One of only 3 teams to beat Wisconsin. They should be there.
On a side note, Akron got completely fucked. They lost on a last second three pointer in their conference championship game, got snubbed by the selection committee, then was not invited to the NIT. Horrible.
Now, who should not be in: Arkansas. Mediocre team. Biggest win is an overtime last second victory over Southern Illinois.
Illinois. Another mediocre team. More off-court problems than the Cincinnati Bengals.
Stanford. Year after year they get undeserved credit. In years past they have rolled through a weak PAC 10, been the toast of college basketball, then got bounced in the second round. I hate Stanford, but I love when they are in the tourny just because there are always idiots in the pools i'm in that pick them to go far and their brackets get fucked by this highly overrated school. Well, this year the PAC 10 is great and Stanford's true colors have shown. They do not deserve to be here.
I've read arguments that Duke doesn't belong in the tourny either. This is completely false. Look, they had a bad season by DUKE STANDARDS, but by everyone else's standards they had a good year. If this is their down year then they have a pretty good program. I'm not a Duke fan or a coach K fan, but you have to respect the program that's been built there and they deserve to be in the tournament. What they don't deserve is a #6 seed.
They got that on their reputation alone. They should have been in the 8-10 range.
Lets break down the regions now:
MIDWEST
Florida is the defending champs, the SEC champs, and the #1 seed here. They are for real, and I see no reason why they should not go all the way again. Sure, they hit a little skid at the end of the regular season, but they did that last year too before they won it all. They are tough and have plenty of experience. They should have no problem at least making the Final Four.
The most intriguing first round matchup is the oh so famous 5-12 game where Cinderella usually comes from. Here we have Butler vs. Old Dominion. Butler was great in the beginning of the year, but they have faltered toward the end. I don't think they deserve a #5 seed, but I'm not greatly opposed to them getting it. ODU is for real. They are scrappy and tough. I'm taking Old Dominion getting to the second round.
There is also the 6-11 matchup between Notre Dame and Winthrop. The Fighting Irish better be prepared for a battle here. The committee fucked up: Winthrop should be seeded a few slots higher. Another upset here: I'm taking Winthrop. The Midwest also has Oregon as a #3 seed. Oregon is tough, and I look for them to knock off Wisconsin and make it to the Elite Eight, but lose to Florida there.
The 7-10 game is UNLV vs. Georgia Tech. UNLV is another sleeper. They should beat the Yellowjackets, and I wouldn't be surprised if they upset Wisconsin in the second round.
Lon Krueger is a hell of a coach and he has a hell of a team, even though nobody gives them much respect.
WEST
Kansas got their #1 seed, so for once a Bill Self squad should not get bounced in the first round. There's no doubt about it: this team has talent. Talent wise they may be the best team in the tourny. That being said I don't see them getting past the Sweet 16. Hell, I'll be suprised if they get past the second round. Here's the facts: They've had this same team the last 2 years and have not made it out of the first round. A couple of years ago Self left Illinois for greener pastures and his predecessor took the team he built to the final game. Self is a hell of a recruiter, one of the best. But he couldn't coach this team through six rounds of the Special Olympics Tournament. He is not an x's and o's guy. And the committee played a cruel joke on him with the path that they are making this coaching oaf blaze through.
The 8-9 game is between Villanova and Kentucky. Two major schools, one who has a good history in the tournament and the other has the best history in college basketball. Kentucky is like Duke: they are having a bad year by KENTUCKY STANDARDS. They still have a good team. I think they will beat Villanova, but I wouldn't be the least bit surprised to see Nova win either. Here's the good part though: The winner of this game takes on Kansas in the second round, and should beat the everloving shit out of the Jayhawks.
The 5-12 game: Illinois vs. Va Tech. Now, I know I said that Illinois should not be there, but I am not really sold on Va Tech. Plus, Bruce Weber is the complete opposite of Bill Self: couldn't recruit bluechippers even if he offered all the free guns and blow they wanted, but he gets the most out of his teams. He's and x's and o's genius. I think we may have another 5-12 upset here, but I wouldn't bet any money on it.
The 4-13 game pits Southern Illinois (my alma mater, but I am trying to be objective here) against Holy Cross. SIU has a blistering defense that will take teams by surprise and I don't think Holy Cross has seen anything like this, so SIU should move on to the first round. Their second round matchup is where I get nervous. The Salukis beat Va Tech early in the year, but I think that just prepares the Hokies more for that defense. And if they play Illinois then they are playing coach Chris Lowery's mentor, which means that Weber could have the upper hand in game planning. I think SIU should make it to the sweet 16, but I am not sold on it yet. All I know is whoever wins here will most likely make it to the Elite Eight.
6-11. Duke vs VCU. The CAA got snubbed, Duke got more love than they deserve. I'm taking VCU in an upset.
Pitt vs. Wright State. Pitt. Thats all I can say. Pitt.
Indiana vs. Gonzaga. The Zags aren't Cinderella anymore. Their big man likes the gonja more than buckets. Indiana will win.
UCLA will win the first round, then dispose of Indiana. They will then play Pitt, and this could be the best game of the Tourny. UCLA is good, Pitt is highly underrated. UCLA has the Final Four experience from last year, and coach Ben Howland will be facing his former team and former assistant coach Jamie Dixon. I think UCLA will squeek this one out, then win in the Elite Eight and return to the Final Four.
Tomorrow we'll look at the other side of the bracket.
First, let's look at who got in and who was left out. Of course there is Syracuse. Heard about them all day, heard their coach crying about it all day. I have no sympathy for them. Yes, they probably should have been in instead of a few other teams, but how many teams from the Big East should go? Fuck 'em, they should have taken care of business. If they had a similar record and did not play in the Big East you would not hear one person crying for them.
Air Force. They should be there. Good record, decent Mid Major Conference, and they beat Texas Tech, UNLV, and Stanford, who are all in.
Drexel should also be there. Contrary to what the selection committee (and Billy "Fudge" Packer) believes, America wants to see more Mid Majors in there. The biggest charm to the tournament is the David defeats Goliath games. I know: How many teams from the Colonial Athletic Conference should be there? Well, this year the answer is three: Va Commonwealth (they won the automatic bid), Drexel, and Old Dominion, since they beat Drexel twice.
The biggest snub, and they got snubbed for the second year in a row, was Missouri State. #36 RPI. Their conference (Missouri Valley) is #6 RPI. One of only 3 teams to beat Wisconsin. They should be there.
On a side note, Akron got completely fucked. They lost on a last second three pointer in their conference championship game, got snubbed by the selection committee, then was not invited to the NIT. Horrible.
Now, who should not be in: Arkansas. Mediocre team. Biggest win is an overtime last second victory over Southern Illinois.
Illinois. Another mediocre team. More off-court problems than the Cincinnati Bengals.
Stanford. Year after year they get undeserved credit. In years past they have rolled through a weak PAC 10, been the toast of college basketball, then got bounced in the second round. I hate Stanford, but I love when they are in the tourny just because there are always idiots in the pools i'm in that pick them to go far and their brackets get fucked by this highly overrated school. Well, this year the PAC 10 is great and Stanford's true colors have shown. They do not deserve to be here.
I've read arguments that Duke doesn't belong in the tourny either. This is completely false. Look, they had a bad season by DUKE STANDARDS, but by everyone else's standards they had a good year. If this is their down year then they have a pretty good program. I'm not a Duke fan or a coach K fan, but you have to respect the program that's been built there and they deserve to be in the tournament. What they don't deserve is a #6 seed.
They got that on their reputation alone. They should have been in the 8-10 range.
Lets break down the regions now:
MIDWEST
Florida is the defending champs, the SEC champs, and the #1 seed here. They are for real, and I see no reason why they should not go all the way again. Sure, they hit a little skid at the end of the regular season, but they did that last year too before they won it all. They are tough and have plenty of experience. They should have no problem at least making the Final Four.
The most intriguing first round matchup is the oh so famous 5-12 game where Cinderella usually comes from. Here we have Butler vs. Old Dominion. Butler was great in the beginning of the year, but they have faltered toward the end. I don't think they deserve a #5 seed, but I'm not greatly opposed to them getting it. ODU is for real. They are scrappy and tough. I'm taking Old Dominion getting to the second round.
There is also the 6-11 matchup between Notre Dame and Winthrop. The Fighting Irish better be prepared for a battle here. The committee fucked up: Winthrop should be seeded a few slots higher. Another upset here: I'm taking Winthrop. The Midwest also has Oregon as a #3 seed. Oregon is tough, and I look for them to knock off Wisconsin and make it to the Elite Eight, but lose to Florida there.
The 7-10 game is UNLV vs. Georgia Tech. UNLV is another sleeper. They should beat the Yellowjackets, and I wouldn't be surprised if they upset Wisconsin in the second round.
Lon Krueger is a hell of a coach and he has a hell of a team, even though nobody gives them much respect.
WEST
Kansas got their #1 seed, so for once a Bill Self squad should not get bounced in the first round. There's no doubt about it: this team has talent. Talent wise they may be the best team in the tourny. That being said I don't see them getting past the Sweet 16. Hell, I'll be suprised if they get past the second round. Here's the facts: They've had this same team the last 2 years and have not made it out of the first round. A couple of years ago Self left Illinois for greener pastures and his predecessor took the team he built to the final game. Self is a hell of a recruiter, one of the best. But he couldn't coach this team through six rounds of the Special Olympics Tournament. He is not an x's and o's guy. And the committee played a cruel joke on him with the path that they are making this coaching oaf blaze through.
The 8-9 game is between Villanova and Kentucky. Two major schools, one who has a good history in the tournament and the other has the best history in college basketball. Kentucky is like Duke: they are having a bad year by KENTUCKY STANDARDS. They still have a good team. I think they will beat Villanova, but I wouldn't be the least bit surprised to see Nova win either. Here's the good part though: The winner of this game takes on Kansas in the second round, and should beat the everloving shit out of the Jayhawks.
The 5-12 game: Illinois vs. Va Tech. Now, I know I said that Illinois should not be there, but I am not really sold on Va Tech. Plus, Bruce Weber is the complete opposite of Bill Self: couldn't recruit bluechippers even if he offered all the free guns and blow they wanted, but he gets the most out of his teams. He's and x's and o's genius. I think we may have another 5-12 upset here, but I wouldn't bet any money on it.
The 4-13 game pits Southern Illinois (my alma mater, but I am trying to be objective here) against Holy Cross. SIU has a blistering defense that will take teams by surprise and I don't think Holy Cross has seen anything like this, so SIU should move on to the first round. Their second round matchup is where I get nervous. The Salukis beat Va Tech early in the year, but I think that just prepares the Hokies more for that defense. And if they play Illinois then they are playing coach Chris Lowery's mentor, which means that Weber could have the upper hand in game planning. I think SIU should make it to the sweet 16, but I am not sold on it yet. All I know is whoever wins here will most likely make it to the Elite Eight.
6-11. Duke vs VCU. The CAA got snubbed, Duke got more love than they deserve. I'm taking VCU in an upset.
Pitt vs. Wright State. Pitt. Thats all I can say. Pitt.
Indiana vs. Gonzaga. The Zags aren't Cinderella anymore. Their big man likes the gonja more than buckets. Indiana will win.
UCLA will win the first round, then dispose of Indiana. They will then play Pitt, and this could be the best game of the Tourny. UCLA is good, Pitt is highly underrated. UCLA has the Final Four experience from last year, and coach Ben Howland will be facing his former team and former assistant coach Jamie Dixon. I think UCLA will squeek this one out, then win in the Elite Eight and return to the Final Four.
Tomorrow we'll look at the other side of the bracket.
Friday, March 9, 2007
Pokey Chatman in trouble for Poking, Chatting up (not a) Man on her own team
Pokey Chatman called it quits, resigning as Louisiana State's head women's basketball coach two days ago after the university sniffed out something fishy...perhaps literally.
They say these types of things "come in threes," but the AP article states that Pokey was only involved with one former athlete, which may nullify the cliche (and my unexplainable fantasy) entirely.
Pokey was busted by University officials for allegedly engaging in an inappropriate sexual relationship with a former Tigress she used to coach.
Chatman went 90-14 as LSU's head coach, while simultaneously going 1-0 as an infiltrator of 20-year old college hoo-ha.
Dana "Pokey" Chatman (left) is seen here in a rare
non-lesbian moment coaxing wood into an upright
and firm position. The LSU head women's
basketball coach resigned after it was revealed
that she became sexually involved with a former
LSU Lady Tiger that played under her during
her tenure as coach.
Seriously, some women need to just keep it in their pants.
They say these types of things "come in threes," but the AP article states that Pokey was only involved with one former athlete, which may nullify the cliche (and my unexplainable fantasy) entirely.
Miami Horror-canes get new coach, better chance at decent lives
Randy Shannon was announced as the Hurricanes new coach in January. Perhaps now the 'Canes won't be known as the Bengals' farm system.
Shannon's new attitude is of the "shape up or ship out" variety. Let's all thank the Lord for that.
His new rules include:
- Any player caught with a gun is off the team and dismissed from the University
- Players must wait two years before moving off-campus
- Players must maintain a 2.5 grade-point average to stay in the program
"Zero tolerance," Shannon told reporters Monday, as spring practice started for the Hurricanes. "You get caught with a firearm, you get dismissed from the university."
It's good to see but facts are facts: Someone should have done this before senior defender Bryan Pata was shot to death outside his apartment. It should have been done before the 'Canes got into a helmet-whipping contest with Florida International at the Orange Bowl. It should have been done before the Hurricanes went 7-6 and 3-5 in the ACC. It should have been done after the infamous "7th Floor Crew" released a song about "raping bitches" that most certainly was not done tongue-in-cheek.
Just ask Jeanette Pata.
Prior, Wood, and Lilly: The trifecta of degeneration
and Kerry Wood can do with a baseball
anymore is sign it.
Mark Prior, time to put on your big boy pants. The days of being diapered by a sullen group of Cubs starters are over. Kerry Wood can’t mentor you from the Wrigley “bullpen”...even though the 70 feet of unprotected grass along the outfield stripes is certainly within yelling distance.
Yep, it’s time to earn your keep. Look, Mr. 26-year-old “phenom,” you were paid $3.65 million last season for a whopping nine starts (inning only one of them, might I add). That’s over $405,000 per game for your brilliant 7.21 season average ERA.
I have no praise for you, Mark. None. Ask me why.
I’ll tell you why…because other Cubs wounded ducks (read: Kerry Wood) at least WANT to pitch. Wood is legitimately upset that he may never be a starter again. Granted, he gave up a salami yesterday (with a few strikeouts to boot) in relief work. But you know why we tolerate him and hate you? Because you don’t give a rat’s ass where you are, so long as you’re getting paid. The “C” on your red and blue cap may as well stand for “criminal.” You’ve stolen the hearts of the Cubs faithful only to trample us undercleat.
Keeping you and Wood on the roster has once again buried the symbolic head on the body of work that is Cubs ownership deep in its own ass. Signing Ted Lilly for a ridiculous amount of money is somehow the equivalent of sticking out your tongue while your head is up there, just to savor the taste of all those other shitty decisions.
Cubs fans are idiots for their loyalty, and I can say that because I am one. I hate us more than those bastard White Sox right now, and that’s saying a lot.
Outside of pitching, the Cubs are good…on paper. Lee’s back in the lineup, and Soriano will add some slugging percentage to the front end. Ramirez is solid in the dirt, and we own quality behind the plate as well. There’s a good chance we’ll win more than 50 percent of our games.
Lou Pinella will have a heart attack in the dugout sometime before the All-Star break within minutes of beating the living hell out of Larry Rothchild.
NEWSFLASH: Women Have no Sense of Direction
AP is reporting that a 61-year-old ROOKIE Musher in the Alaskan Iditarod has made a wrong turn and has been spotted some 19 miles off course after completing a quarter of the 1100 mile dog sled race. 
"Fuck this, I'm taking a nap. She's lost...again..."
After failing to make it to a checkpoint, searchers were sent out on snowmobile and by air to locate Deborah Bicknell. She was spotted on a trail utilized in years past, some 19 miles off course. Officials said they could disqualify her, but will let her press on if she makes it back to the next checkpoint.
Thursday, March 8, 2007
Tom Brady: Gizzmaster
Tom has cum through in the clutch again...Rumors have been swirling all day that Mr. Brady has spread his super spunk once again...this time supposedly impregnating Gisele.
Tom, NEWSFLASH: You can have SEX without procreating. Buy a rubber...or two. It's evident you have some sort of SUPER SPERM, so cage it up kid.
Not to mention you keep adding to your already insane "what have you done with your life?" factor that makes us regular fella feel useless. Let's see...3 Super Bowl Rings and 2 Super Bowl MVP Titles before your 28th birthday. The list of woman who have been in your bed is longer than the entire Cincinatti Bengals rap sheet. And now it appears you've dropped your super human seed on not only uber-hot Bridget Moynhan but also the hottest model on the planet, Gisele.
Thanks for making me feel good about myself, AGAIN, Tom....
Tom, NEWSFLASH: You can have SEX without procreating. Buy a rubber...or two. It's evident you have some sort of SUPER SPERM, so cage it up kid.Not to mention you keep adding to your already insane "what have you done with your life?" factor that makes us regular fella feel useless. Let's see...3 Super Bowl Rings and 2 Super Bowl MVP Titles before your 28th birthday. The list of woman who have been in your bed is longer than the entire Cincinatti Bengals rap sheet. And now it appears you've dropped your super human seed on not only uber-hot Bridget Moynhan but also the hottest model on the planet, Gisele.
Thanks for making me feel good about myself, AGAIN, Tom....
Wednesday, March 7, 2007
NEWSFLASH: HGH Makes You a Racist Prick.
John "White Power" Rocker is back in the news. Seven years after his revealing SI interview where he slurred virtually everyone from Jews, Gays, Asians, and every group of minorities in between, Rocker has admitted to using Human Growth Hormone.
Of course, this admission comes just a day after his name was discovered on a list of clients held by a pharmaceutical company under investigation for distribution of steroids. And Rocker is maintaining it was not for personal advancement...
"That was a growth hormone that was prescribed by a doctor in relation to his rotator cuff surgery in 2003, so I don't really think there is anything to the story," said Debi Curzio, Rocker's publicist.
Then comes the Medical explanation...HGH is not typically prescribed for rotator cuff injuries. And even if it were, getting his fix from Allied Pharmacy of Mobile, Alabama, one of the companies under investigation, is just a coincidence?
Don't think so. We're going to find out a good portion of the league was juicing and this douche bag was just one of many.
Stay tuned...Tuesday, March 6, 2007
Bears to Thomas Jones: "Ya know that old saying about a door and an ass?"
Halas Hall at Conway Park
1000 Football Drive
Lake Forest, Illinois 60045
From the Desk of Jerry Angelo
Mr. Jones,
Thank you for your work ethic. Thank you for the best three years of your seven year career. Thank you for your intensity, your passion for the game, and for your commitment to winning.
But in spite of all these wonderful attributes, I regret to inform you we have fulfilled your trade request. You will now be a member of the New York Jets.
Yes, the Jets. The Chad Pennington-Kellen Clemens-Patrick Ramsey Jets. The Eric Man-gina Jets. The 10-6 Jets. The Tom Brady makes you his bitch Jets.
It is unfortunate we could not come to some understanding after a Super Bowl Season. Evidently you were unhappy about our wish to move in another direction as a team, namely the Cedric Benson direction. And I know that decision may look like a foolish one from the outside, for someone not within the inner-circle who doesn’t know the grand plan for the Chicago Bears, but I guarantee it is the right move. Cedric, a #4 pick overall in the 2005 Draft, may have held out his rookie season, been plagued by injuries since he entered the league, and has been dubbed a “me” guy, but I know he’s a good fit for this organization.
Not to mention the fact that we’re simply too tight on money around here to give you what you want after your contract expires next season, especially when we’ve got ‘Ced locked up until 2010.
In closing, I would again like to thank you for your contributions to this team during your three years here. Hell, if we had a real quarterback I’d like to think we may have even won it all last season. Oh well, like the North-Siders say, “there’s always next year.”
Enjoy New Jersey, the land of garbage dumps and Tony Soprano.
Sincerely,
Jerry Angelo
Head-Mother-Fucker-In-Charge
Monsters of the Midway
Saturday, March 3, 2007
Jake Plummer to Bucs: "Suck It!"
A day after trade rumors swirled around Bronco's QB Jake Plummer, one time owner of the "I can grow mass amounts of facial hair and look like a douche bag" award (Kyle Orton of the Bears stole that crown this season), and the Tampa Bay Bucs, Plummer has said he would rather retire than play for Tampa.
I've got news for you Jake: You were never that good, and surly not good enough to decide where your team TRADES you. If your team wants to send you to the land of Beaches and Boobs, TAKE THE GIFT THEY'VE GIVEN YOU AND RETIRE. Jackass.
I've got news for you Jake: You were never that good, and surly not good enough to decide where your team TRADES you. If your team wants to send you to the land of Beaches and Boobs, TAKE THE GIFT THEY'VE GIVEN YOU AND RETIRE. Jackass.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
