Wednesday, January 31, 2007
I'm Not Sayin', I'm Just Sayin'....
Since I'm the one who always labels my posts 'Manning Sucks' I thought it was fitting to share this picture I was emailed this morning.
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
The Year of the "No Respect" winner
I'm not here to be a homer and tell you the Bears are definitely going to win. Truth is I wouldn't put one penny on this game (anyone who has seen my playoff picks will attest to the fact that I should not be making any bets whatsoever). I can't tell you who will win. What I can tell you is that the "experts" are dead wrong. Lets look at the past year in all of sports just to show that the underdog is most likely the favorite nowadays.
2006 NCAA Tournament
Anyone who knows me knows that I am a college hoops nut. I root for SIU and anyone who is in their conference, The Valley. More to come after the Super Bowl on college bball though. Anyway, I, among many other people, was outraged when Billy "The Biggest Piece of Dogshit on TV" Packer and Jim Nantz chastised the selection committee chairman on Selection Sunday for taking four Valley teams. What happened? Two of them made the Sweet Sixteen and The Valley had the second most teams in that round. Nantz admitted he was wrong, Packer still claimed he was right, hence the "Dogshit" dubbing. And then there was George Mason. Final Four. And who honestly picked Florida to go to the Final Four, let alone win it all?
Underdogs 1-Experts0
2006 NBA Finals
The West was dominant, the East was weak. Now, it's hard to say that a team with Shaq and Dwayne Wade is and underdog, but they were. It was just like NFC-AFC: The best team in the East was not supposed to contend with the middle teams in the West. Outcome: Shaq tells Kobe to go fuck himself and hoists a trophy.
Underdogs 2-Experts 0
2006 World Series
Same scenario: AL ruled, NL sucked donkey scrotum. The White Sox would have had the second best record in the NL, but finished third in their division. The Cardinals limped into the playoffs with 83 wins, which was good enough to win their pathetic division. St. Louis made it to the World Series and swept the heavily favored Tigers, even though the experts said that no NL team could contend with the middle AL teams.
Underdogs 3-Experts 0
2006 & 2007 NCAA BCS Championship Game
In 2006 USC was still the toast of the College ranks. That is until Vince Young came along and had the game of his life. In 2007 Ohio State was Beauty and the Geek (their play being Beauty and their coach being the Geek) and went undefeated and there was much debate whether Florida should have even been playing them for the title. Florida rolled the Buckeyes. A lot of people say that nine times out of ten OSU would kick the shit out of the Gators, and they say the same about the match up from 2006. My point with this one is that in football it's one game: if the underdog plays well for one night they can win, even if they are the inferior team.
Underdogs 4-Experts 0
The point of all this: conference play does not matter. Once you get to the dance you stand just as good of a chance as the other guy. In my mind this make the so called "experts" overrated. So don't count out the Bears just because they play in the NFC.
"I tell you I'm
like the Bears!
No Respect!
2006 NCAA Tournament
Anyone who knows me knows that I am a college hoops nut. I root for SIU and anyone who is in their conference, The Valley. More to come after the Super Bowl on college bball though. Anyway, I, among many other people, was outraged when Billy "The Biggest Piece of Dogshit on TV" Packer and Jim Nantz chastised the selection committee chairman on Selection Sunday for taking four Valley teams. What happened? Two of them made the Sweet Sixteen and The Valley had the second most teams in that round. Nantz admitted he was wrong, Packer still claimed he was right, hence the "Dogshit" dubbing. And then there was George Mason. Final Four. And who honestly picked Florida to go to the Final Four, let alone win it all?
Underdogs 1-Experts0
2006 NBA Finals
The West was dominant, the East was weak. Now, it's hard to say that a team with Shaq and Dwayne Wade is and underdog, but they were. It was just like NFC-AFC: The best team in the East was not supposed to contend with the middle teams in the West. Outcome: Shaq tells Kobe to go fuck himself and hoists a trophy.
Underdogs 2-Experts 0
2006 World Series
Same scenario: AL ruled, NL sucked donkey scrotum. The White Sox would have had the second best record in the NL, but finished third in their division. The Cardinals limped into the playoffs with 83 wins, which was good enough to win their pathetic division. St. Louis made it to the World Series and swept the heavily favored Tigers, even though the experts said that no NL team could contend with the middle AL teams.
Underdogs 3-Experts 0
2006 & 2007 NCAA BCS Championship Game
In 2006 USC was still the toast of the College ranks. That is until Vince Young came along and had the game of his life. In 2007 Ohio State was Beauty and the Geek (their play being Beauty and their coach being the Geek) and went undefeated and there was much debate whether Florida should have even been playing them for the title. Florida rolled the Buckeyes. A lot of people say that nine times out of ten OSU would kick the shit out of the Gators, and they say the same about the match up from 2006. My point with this one is that in football it's one game: if the underdog plays well for one night they can win, even if they are the inferior team.
Underdogs 4-Experts 0
The point of all this: conference play does not matter. Once you get to the dance you stand just as good of a chance as the other guy. In my mind this make the so called "experts" overrated. So don't count out the Bears just because they play in the NFC.
"I tell you I'm
like the Bears!
No Respect!
Monday, January 29, 2007
...and they call him Mr. Dead...
One of America's favorite horses finally chewed the golden bit...put his nose in the proverbial final oatbag...whatever you wanna call it.
Yes...I said ONE of them...don't forget Seabiscuit, Scout, Black Beauty, Trigger, Silver, Quick-Draw McGraw, Mr. Ed, Cigar...didn't even think there was a list, did you?
I'm not too knowledgable about horse racing; however, I am knowledgebale in symbolic interpretation. That said, anytime a "colt" goes down before this year's Super Bowl, I'll be the first to take notice and let you guys know. I love my peeps that much.
Ha. And you though this was about horses.
GO BEARS!
Yes...I said ONE of them...don't forget Seabiscuit, Scout, Black Beauty, Trigger, Silver, Quick-Draw McGraw, Mr. Ed, Cigar...didn't even think there was a list, did you?
From the Associated Press: "Kentucky Derby winner Barbaro was euthanized Monday after complications from his gruesome breakdown at last year's Preakness, ending an eight-month ordeal that prompted an outpouring of support across the country."
Here's a picture of Barbaro's leg post-op:I'm not too knowledgable about horse racing; however, I am knowledgebale in symbolic interpretation. That said, anytime a "colt" goes down before this year's Super Bowl, I'll be the first to take notice and let you guys know. I love my peeps that much.
Ha. And you though this was about horses.
GO BEARS!
They Found Her...
I caught a glimpse of this broad out of the corner of my eye, quickly hit rewind on my Tivo, and snapped a shot of my Plasma to post here.
Then Maxim Magazine put out a call to find her for a photo shoot.
Good news gentleman, they found her. Her name is Heather Rothstein, and while her looks were initially questioned even though they were progressively getting better, the Maxim Shoot proves she is without a doubt hittable.
A very special thanks to the people at MAXIM for these shots...
Then Maxim Magazine put out a call to find her for a photo shoot.
Good news gentleman, they found her. Her name is Heather Rothstein, and while her looks were initially questioned even though they were progressively getting better, the Maxim Shoot proves she is without a doubt hittable.
A very special thanks to the people at MAXIM for these shots...
All Photos Courtesy of Maxim Magazine.
Barack's Super Bowl Musings
It’s the start of Super Bowl week and I couldn’t think of a better way to break down next Sundays’ game than through the eyes of Illinois Senator Barack Obama.The young Senator has recently announced his intentions of seeking the Democratic nomination in the 2008 Presidential Election, and I for one hope he gets it. As a young Republican, I must say I have been completely let down by Bush V2.0 and have lost faith in the party all together. I feel like the college girl who wakes up in a boy’s apartment after a drunken tryst and can’t find her underwear. I’ve been taken advantage of, and I don’t like it. Unless Giuliani runs, Barack is getting my vote...
But I digress. Barack is the hottest thing in Illinois politics since Governor Ryan’s drivers license scheme opened the over-the-road trucking profession to hundreds of would-be morons who couldn’t handle a Yugo let alone a Big Rig.
And to make things even more interesting, at least for our purposes, he also happens to be a Bears fan. So on this day, a mere 150 hours from the biggest moment in Lovie Smith’s career, we enter the head of Barack Obama.
Barack on Lovie Smith:
And to make things even more interesting, at least for our purposes, he also happens to be a Bears fan. So on this day, a mere 150 hours from the biggest moment in Lovie Smith’s career, we enter the head of Barack Obama.
Barack on Lovie Smith:
"Dick Juron. What a fuckin' moron. This shit is easy."
Barack’s proud of Lovie. He’s taken a 5-11 team and turned them into Super Bowl contenders in 3 seasons. Barack can see the parallels between Dick Juron and George Bush, and plans on using Lovie’s model for immediate improvement if and when elected to the White House. Added Bonus: Lovie has a White Wife.
Barack on Brian Urlacher:
"Honey, take that man for all you can sister!"
Barack sees the Bears MLB for what he is; fast, vicious, a master of the trade. He also knows of ‘Lach’s taste for young black women, but Barack doesn’t mind sparing a few of his Nubian Princesses’ for the cause.
"We did it in an alley behind Gino's East. It was HOT."
But in the same breath, he mounted Paris Hilton, and that's just gross. Still, Barack respects Urlacher for being a true swordsman.
Barack on Rex Grossman:
"Block that guy right there or I'll have to come up with a clever exuse."
Obama loves Grossman’s confidence. Throw 3 interceptions in a game? Tell the media you’ll do better. Have a ZERO passer rating? Say you made some bad choices. Barack can see how this can be used in his political career.
Barack on Thomas Jones:
"Shit. Tank Johnson ain't no Gangsta. I'm Gangsta."
Obama enjoys watching Jones hit the hole and sprint down field. While he may not be the second coming of Walter Payton, Barack believes Jones is a nice fit for the offense, but he’s concerned with that tattoo on his neck. Could he be a gang banger?
Barack on Peyton Manning:
"I like Black People. See."
It’s obvious to Barack that anyone with such a southern drawl must be a republican, a member of the confederacy, and or a descendent of slave owners. While Peyton may understand the game of football, Barack hopes God has mercy on his soul.
Barack on Tony Dungy:
"That little fucker better listen to me next weekened or I'ma smack the taste outta Archie's mouth."
Obama respects Dungy because Lovie does. He’s happy to see another black man in the position Dungy has found himself in, but deep down has a burning hatred for him. Barack is perturbed by the number of times Peyton has disregarded his coach on 4th down and short, waved off the punt team, and went for the first down. Barack knows that Tony has to stand up to his young white QB and if need be, ‘smack a ho.’
Barack on Super Bowl XLI:
Simple. Bears 32 – Colts 24
Thursday, January 25, 2007
Miami SUCKS
The story broke early this week. Its effects on would-be fans from around the country will be monumental. Bears’ and Colts’ fans planning on heading down to south Florida without tickets, but with dreams of a parking lot post game bash are in for a rude awakening.
"There is no tailgating allowed in the Dolphin Stadium parking lots," Sue Jaquez, a member of the Super Bowl XLI Host Committee, confirmed on Tuesday. "And there is no tailgating anywhere within a one-mile radius of the stadium."
What? Don’t they know who they’re dealing with? Bears fans are notorious for their professional pre-game tailgating rituals. When I head this news I didn’t believe it and had to hear it from the horses mouth myself.
I called, emailed, faxed, and even wrote the people at the Super Bowl XLI Host Committee.
Finally, this afternoon I got a human voice on the other end.
“Hello. Thank you for calling the Super Bowl XLI Host Committee. How may I help you?”
“Good afternoon. I’m one of the lucky few who managed to get tickets to the big game and I’ve got a few questions. I’m bringing a group of employees and associates to the game and I’m concerned with a few things.” (I was lying my ass off.)
“Well sir, you can visit our website at…”
“I’ve been on your website.” I quickly changed my tone from inquisitive to aggressive. “Your website hasn’t answered my biggest question. Chicago media sources are reporting that tailgating is prohibited within one mile of Dolphin Stadium. This can’t be true?”
“Yes, it is sir. We’ve…”
“Who made this decision? I need a name and a phone number. Do you understand what a mistake you’re making?”
“Sir, I’m sorry. Can I be of any further assistance this evening?”
“No. Thank you for your time. Have a wonderful time at your lame ass game.”
I slammed the phone down in disbelief. This couldn’t be true. I was still in shock. Whose idea of a sick joke was this? After all, this is the SUPER BOWL, not the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show. It’s football.
Maybe I’m wrong here, but wouldn’t a city want to capitalize on each and every financial benefit this game could bring? I don’t know, maybe they could generate a few dollars by actually placing beer vendors at every street corner within walking distance of the stadium? I’m quite sure they wouldn’t LOSE money on the deal.
Could it be the fact that the average Joe who attends regular season games and arrives five hours before kickoff to tailgate can’t afford tickets to the Super Bowl? That the game has become such a corporate spectacle that the only people who can afford to attend are the rich, famous, or connected…not the typical football fan?
Regardless of the reasoning, two things are very evident. The NFL has propped its championship game on such a pedestal that they have essentially thumbed their noses at the average fan. And that the Super Bowl XLI Host Committee, the City of Miami, and the old crow that had the final say in this situation is out of touch.
So think twice before heading to Miami without tickets…you’ll most likely end up watching the game in a bar, and you could do that at home.
"There is no tailgating allowed in the Dolphin Stadium parking lots," Sue Jaquez, a member of the Super Bowl XLI Host Committee, confirmed on Tuesday. "And there is no tailgating anywhere within a one-mile radius of the stadium."
What? Don’t they know who they’re dealing with? Bears fans are notorious for their professional pre-game tailgating rituals. When I head this news I didn’t believe it and had to hear it from the horses mouth myself.
I called, emailed, faxed, and even wrote the people at the Super Bowl XLI Host Committee.
Finally, this afternoon I got a human voice on the other end.
“Hello. Thank you for calling the Super Bowl XLI Host Committee. How may I help you?”
“Good afternoon. I’m one of the lucky few who managed to get tickets to the big game and I’ve got a few questions. I’m bringing a group of employees and associates to the game and I’m concerned with a few things.” (I was lying my ass off.)
“Well sir, you can visit our website at…”
“I’ve been on your website.” I quickly changed my tone from inquisitive to aggressive. “Your website hasn’t answered my biggest question. Chicago media sources are reporting that tailgating is prohibited within one mile of Dolphin Stadium. This can’t be true?”
“Yes, it is sir. We’ve…”
“Who made this decision? I need a name and a phone number. Do you understand what a mistake you’re making?”
“Sir, I’m sorry. Can I be of any further assistance this evening?”
“No. Thank you for your time. Have a wonderful time at your lame ass game.”
I slammed the phone down in disbelief. This couldn’t be true. I was still in shock. Whose idea of a sick joke was this? After all, this is the SUPER BOWL, not the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show. It’s football.
Maybe I’m wrong here, but wouldn’t a city want to capitalize on each and every financial benefit this game could bring? I don’t know, maybe they could generate a few dollars by actually placing beer vendors at every street corner within walking distance of the stadium? I’m quite sure they wouldn’t LOSE money on the deal.
Could it be the fact that the average Joe who attends regular season games and arrives five hours before kickoff to tailgate can’t afford tickets to the Super Bowl? That the game has become such a corporate spectacle that the only people who can afford to attend are the rich, famous, or connected…not the typical football fan?
Regardless of the reasoning, two things are very evident. The NFL has propped its championship game on such a pedestal that they have essentially thumbed their noses at the average fan. And that the Super Bowl XLI Host Committee, the City of Miami, and the old crow that had the final say in this situation is out of touch.
So think twice before heading to Miami without tickets…you’ll most likely end up watching the game in a bar, and you could do that at home.
Caged Bengal
We all know about the off the field problems the Cincinnati Bengals have had in the last twelve months. This has been one of the doormat franchises in all of sports for the past 15 years or so, and just when their play on the field is getting to the respectable level you would expect from a team that has top 5 draft picks perennially, their off field antics bring the team right back down to laughing stock level. I'd like to write my personal thoughts on my personal favorite outlaw Bengal. No, its not OL Eric Steinbach, even though we did graduate from the same high school and, lets face it, anyone who gets arrested for driving a boat drunk has serious problems. I am talking about the one, the only, Chris Henry.
Now, my love for Chris Henry began on draft day 2005. I was forming a keeper fantasy football league and I was looking for a sleeper I could take in the very late rounds. I saw video on this kid coming out of the University of West Virginia who would be featured in an offense with the up and coming Carson Palmer throwing to him, and I figured what the hell, this kid may be something. He sure has become something: he has turned into everything that you do not want your kids to become. He is a waste of talent because no matter how bright his playing future may look the kid keeps going back to his stupid ways. He has been arrested 4 times in the last year, and was there for at least one other Bengal getting arrested (I know, he didn't get in trouble that time, but the point is he went looking for trouble and got lucky he didn't find it) Let's face it: He makes Tank Johnson look like Pope Benedict.
He was suspended two games this year (two weeks where I could have used him also), and now he is facing more suspension time. Not only that, but now he gets jail time. In his fourth court case, he was sentenced by a Kentucky judge for allowing minors to drink in his hotel room. "You embarrassed yourself," Kenton County District Judge Greg Grothaus told Henry. "You embarrassed a lot of people, teammates, friends and family, the city, the fans and myself." I'm sure Henry doesn't give a damn what some judge says. After all, he's Chris Henry, and he'll do whatever he damn well pleases. Prosecutor Ken Easterling said "Looking at his history and the amount of times he's gone before other courts and not gotten jail time, the reason we sought jail time was to send a very clear message to him that this is going to be the response every time you get in trouble in our community. So I hope, as the judge indicated, that he gets the message." Do any of you really think that a measly two day jail sentence will make him stop his childish ways? Did any of you chuckle like I did when Bengals Head Coach Marvin Lewis promised tougher penalties after the season? I know I did. These guys don't care what Marvin Lewis has to say. It's obvious by their actions. It's not like they say "OK, you caught me. I won't do it again." No, they keep giving the middle finger to the law, the league, their teammates and coaches, and most of all their fans. Like I said, Marvin Lewis promised stiffer penalties after the season. In my world, thats spineless. Thats like having someone repeatedly spit in your face, then after they leave and shut the door behind them you whisper "you better not do that again "! And he is the one, besides the players themselves, who gets all the blame. He knew what he was getting when he drafted these players. Most of them had a tattered past. "It's good that this case involving Chris has been resolved," Lewis said "Now Chris must continue to strive to mature and grow both as a player and as a person." Now?!?!? Now?!?!? Now, after his fourth crime in 12 months he must con...con..continue?!?!? Marvin, please don't tell me you are that naive. Chris has not even begun to mature. Rush Limbaugh has caught a lot of flak for saying the NFL is like the Bloods and the Cripts without weapons. Although I do not believe that this is an accurate statement because it puts the whole league in the same category of the thug life, I do feel if an outsider looked at the Bengals that they would whole hartedly agree with this statement. (NOTE: I know the reason he is getting so much flak for that statement is because people find it racist. I don't think he was looking at race (although who knows with him), I think he was looking at the character of many of the league's players and their legal issues. And no, I am not a Limbaugh fan, nor do I hate him. I'm just an impartial observer and I am not trying to defend what he has said.)
I just don't get it: these athletes are paid millions of dollars to play a game. Thats what it is, a game that we loved to play and would still love to play if our bodies let us. A game that our parents paid other people for us to have a right to play. I understand a lot of these players come from backgrounds where they are surrounded by trouble, where trouble is a way of life. But I hate when people feel sorry for them and use that as an excuse. All they have to do is distance themselves from that trouble, I mean, they have the money to do it. I'm not one for abandoning your friends, anyone who knows me knows that I will do anything for them, but sometimes you have to look out for yourself. And if your friends are trying to bring you down with their actions, then are they really your friends, or are they just acquaintances who are along for the glory ride of your success? I think this is a question that every pro athlete should ask themselves before they begin their careers.
Get used to wearing orange,
there's a lot of orange clothes
in your future!
Now, my love for Chris Henry began on draft day 2005. I was forming a keeper fantasy football league and I was looking for a sleeper I could take in the very late rounds. I saw video on this kid coming out of the University of West Virginia who would be featured in an offense with the up and coming Carson Palmer throwing to him, and I figured what the hell, this kid may be something. He sure has become something: he has turned into everything that you do not want your kids to become. He is a waste of talent because no matter how bright his playing future may look the kid keeps going back to his stupid ways. He has been arrested 4 times in the last year, and was there for at least one other Bengal getting arrested (I know, he didn't get in trouble that time, but the point is he went looking for trouble and got lucky he didn't find it) Let's face it: He makes Tank Johnson look like Pope Benedict.
He was suspended two games this year (two weeks where I could have used him also), and now he is facing more suspension time. Not only that, but now he gets jail time. In his fourth court case, he was sentenced by a Kentucky judge for allowing minors to drink in his hotel room. "You embarrassed yourself," Kenton County District Judge Greg Grothaus told Henry. "You embarrassed a lot of people, teammates, friends and family, the city, the fans and myself." I'm sure Henry doesn't give a damn what some judge says. After all, he's Chris Henry, and he'll do whatever he damn well pleases. Prosecutor Ken Easterling said "Looking at his history and the amount of times he's gone before other courts and not gotten jail time, the reason we sought jail time was to send a very clear message to him that this is going to be the response every time you get in trouble in our community. So I hope, as the judge indicated, that he gets the message." Do any of you really think that a measly two day jail sentence will make him stop his childish ways? Did any of you chuckle like I did when Bengals Head Coach Marvin Lewis promised tougher penalties after the season? I know I did. These guys don't care what Marvin Lewis has to say. It's obvious by their actions. It's not like they say "OK, you caught me. I won't do it again." No, they keep giving the middle finger to the law, the league, their teammates and coaches, and most of all their fans. Like I said, Marvin Lewis promised stiffer penalties after the season. In my world, thats spineless. Thats like having someone repeatedly spit in your face, then after they leave and shut the door behind them you whisper "you better not do that again "! And he is the one, besides the players themselves, who gets all the blame. He knew what he was getting when he drafted these players. Most of them had a tattered past. "It's good that this case involving Chris has been resolved," Lewis said "Now Chris must continue to strive to mature and grow both as a player and as a person." Now?!?!? Now?!?!? Now, after his fourth crime in 12 months he must con...con..continue?!?!? Marvin, please don't tell me you are that naive. Chris has not even begun to mature. Rush Limbaugh has caught a lot of flak for saying the NFL is like the Bloods and the Cripts without weapons. Although I do not believe that this is an accurate statement because it puts the whole league in the same category of the thug life, I do feel if an outsider looked at the Bengals that they would whole hartedly agree with this statement. (NOTE: I know the reason he is getting so much flak for that statement is because people find it racist. I don't think he was looking at race (although who knows with him), I think he was looking at the character of many of the league's players and their legal issues. And no, I am not a Limbaugh fan, nor do I hate him. I'm just an impartial observer and I am not trying to defend what he has said.)
I just don't get it: these athletes are paid millions of dollars to play a game. Thats what it is, a game that we loved to play and would still love to play if our bodies let us. A game that our parents paid other people for us to have a right to play. I understand a lot of these players come from backgrounds where they are surrounded by trouble, where trouble is a way of life. But I hate when people feel sorry for them and use that as an excuse. All they have to do is distance themselves from that trouble, I mean, they have the money to do it. I'm not one for abandoning your friends, anyone who knows me knows that I will do anything for them, but sometimes you have to look out for yourself. And if your friends are trying to bring you down with their actions, then are they really your friends, or are they just acquaintances who are along for the glory ride of your success? I think this is a question that every pro athlete should ask themselves before they begin their careers.
Get used to wearing orange,
there's a lot of orange clothes
in your future!
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Winter Baseball Report #2
Winter Baseball Report #2
I’m baaaaaaaack.
This weeks MLB news has been slow, but hardly non-existent. Here’s a taste of what has transpired in the last seven days around the league.
White Sox left fielder Scott Podsednik will undergo groin surgery which will leave him sidelined for the next six to eight weeks. Sources close to Podsednik are referring to the injury as a ‘sports hernia’ but I think we all know what happened to Pods…
I hope, for Scotty’s sake, the injury came trying to pull a maneuver outlined on page 36 of the Karma Sutra with Mrs. Pods, Lisa Dergan.
The White Sox announced they have come to terms with Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim (that name just slides right off the tongue, doesn’t it?) OF Darin Erstad.
Speaking of the Angels, Dallas McPherson, the 26-year-old kid they pegged as Troy Glaus’ replacement (and were so confident they let Glaus go in Free Agency) will miss the entire season after surgery to remove a herniated disc in his lower back.
Carlos Delgado’s gonna be a daddy. But it seems the timing of the whole thing may cause him to miss a handful of games at the start of the season.
The Phillies have signed Antonio Alfonseca to a one year deal for the league minimum of $380,000.
The Twins agreed to a one year deal with pitcher Ramon Ortiz, formerly with the Washington Nationals.
The Padres inked 43-year-old lefty David Wells to a one year, $3M deal.
The Brewers came to a one year, $3.25M agreement with INF Tony Graffanino. Graffanino, a utility infielder, hit .28- last season with 2 HR and 28 RBI’s. $3.25 mildo? That’s like stealing!
And finally, the Cubs agreed to a 5 year, $10M contract with Notre Dame Football legend Jeff Samardzija. There’s a lot I could say there, but I think Rhino summed it up perfectly.
I’m baaaaaaaack.
This weeks MLB news has been slow, but hardly non-existent. Here’s a taste of what has transpired in the last seven days around the league.
White Sox left fielder Scott Podsednik will undergo groin surgery which will leave him sidelined for the next six to eight weeks. Sources close to Podsednik are referring to the injury as a ‘sports hernia’ but I think we all know what happened to Pods…
I hope, for Scotty’s sake, the injury came trying to pull a maneuver outlined on page 36 of the Karma Sutra with Mrs. Pods, Lisa Dergan.
The White Sox announced they have come to terms with Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim (that name just slides right off the tongue, doesn’t it?) OF Darin Erstad.
Speaking of the Angels, Dallas McPherson, the 26-year-old kid they pegged as Troy Glaus’ replacement (and were so confident they let Glaus go in Free Agency) will miss the entire season after surgery to remove a herniated disc in his lower back.
Carlos Delgado’s gonna be a daddy. But it seems the timing of the whole thing may cause him to miss a handful of games at the start of the season.
The Phillies have signed Antonio Alfonseca to a one year deal for the league minimum of $380,000.
The Twins agreed to a one year deal with pitcher Ramon Ortiz, formerly with the Washington Nationals.
The Padres inked 43-year-old lefty David Wells to a one year, $3M deal.
The Brewers came to a one year, $3.25M agreement with INF Tony Graffanino. Graffanino, a utility infielder, hit .28- last season with 2 HR and 28 RBI’s. $3.25 mildo? That’s like stealing!
And finally, the Cubs agreed to a 5 year, $10M contract with Notre Dame Football legend Jeff Samardzija. There’s a lot I could say there, but I think Rhino summed it up perfectly.
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
A Couple of Quick Comments.....
First, I think I would be a hypocrite if I didn't give my feelings on Tank Johnson going to the Super Bowl. Just as in the case of Ron Mexico not getting thrown in jail for his whole "Spliffs on a Plane" fiasco, I personally think it is wrong that Tank has been given permission to go. If he were Terry The Gun Wielding Pitbull Beating Bus Driver he would not be allowed to leave. Basically, the Bear fan in me is happy he is going, but the upstanding citizen in me is not.
Second, did any of you Chicagoians find it funny yesterday that the Chicago Tribune did an article on the front page of one of their sections in big bold letters about how impossible Super Bowl tickets will be to get, but if you want some then here is a short list of ticket brokers who have plenty? Remember, the Tribune owns the Cubs, and the Cubs own ticket broker agencies. Could there have been some sort of hidden agenda there, sort of a little subliminal advertising?
Thats all for now, just had to get that off my chest.
Second, did any of you Chicagoians find it funny yesterday that the Chicago Tribune did an article on the front page of one of their sections in big bold letters about how impossible Super Bowl tickets will be to get, but if you want some then here is a short list of ticket brokers who have plenty? Remember, the Tribune owns the Cubs, and the Cubs own ticket broker agencies. Could there have been some sort of hidden agenda there, sort of a little subliminal advertising?
Thats all for now, just had to get that off my chest.
Welcome Sati, MAMQB Guest Writer
I've been kicking around ways to keep content Fresh, Current, and to offer another viewpoint that would contrast those held by the current staff. In an effort to please, I put out an open request for guest writers, and the following article was the first I received.
MAMQB Fans, enjoy this piece by Sati, a sharp Chicago kid with diverse sports knowledge, and the first Guest Writer here at The Monday AM QB.
Reggie Bush’s Eating Crow Dance: When Celebration in Sports Goes Overboard
Mea Culpa. Forgive me Pappa Bear Halas for I have sinned. I went against my heart, the city that raised me, and the team that I have always supported. There I said it.
Who woulda thunk it: the Bears roll over the divinely-appointed Saints to make the Super Bowl for the first time in 21 years. Most experts, and this humble writer, predicted that the Saints' high-powered offense would overwhelm the erratic Bears.
In fairness none of us predicted that star rookie running back Reggie Bush would have a figurative "Leon Lett Moment" that would awaken the hibernating beast that is the Chicago Bears Defense. On the first possession of the second half, Saints QB Drew Brees hit Bush for what looked like a routine short yardage pass. The former USC Trojan accelerated into a triangle of collapsing Bears defenders then, with a quick jiggle of the shoulders, left all three standing and burst diagonally for an 88 yard statement TD. The "statement" should've been the run itself: the virtuousity, the vision, the freakish agility. More important, the score drew the Saints within 2 points of the Bears. Yet, by fingerpointing at a bevy of pursuing defenders and showing them the ball Bush chose to make it a statement for his own poor judgement. After that bitchslap, the Bears sideline looked like a swarm of agitated bees. The defense, led by a fired up line, subsequently put Brees and company on lockdown for the rest of the game. The offense also responded with 23 unanswered points. Final score: Bears 39, Saints 14.
Sometime in the midst of that beatdown Bush reportedly told his coach "I shouldn't have done that."
Son, no you shouldn't have.
In larger context, let me state my opinion on "celebrating" in sports as I increasingly hear a litany of complaints from commentators and fans against player celebrations. My position is largely historical. Ever since Muhammad Ali's crazed weigh-in against Sonny Liston in 1963, demonstrative self-aggrandizement has had a storied place in professional sports. Think about such notable hype artists as Joe Namath, Julius Erving, Richard Petty, Sugar Ray Leonard, Ricky Henderson, Deion Sanders, Michael Jordan, Magic Johnson, Charles Barkley, Dikembe Mutumbo, and Tiger Woods. Nowadays no one says "I'm too pretty" or "I'm gonna win in eight to show I'm great." The vernacular of "Ali Rap" has morphed into the instantly accessible non-verbal statement: the chest-pounding, the end-zone dance, the sack dance, the post home-run walk, and yes the pointing to the sky (as if God has chosen me).
And let us not forget that the Bears are no stranger to celebratory taunting. Anyone remember a little thing called "The Super Bowl Shuffle"? Don't get me wrong, it was an endearing piece of "bad ass" propaganda and I loved it; but given the fact that it was filmed in November, it basically told the NFL—which makes its coin on competitiveness and indeterminacy—to go fuck itself. This, was of course apparent after they did, in fact, coast to a Super Bowl championship.
However, just because celebration has a fixed position in modern sports doesn't mean it should always be condoned. Certain types of taunting like trampling on an opponent's logo, as Terrell Owens did in Dallas a few years back, or more recently the Patriots to the Chargers, should be prohibited. And excessively violent gestures such as throat slashing and gravedigging should yield stiff penalties, as they do currently.
Furthermore, I would like to see an emphasis on "context" regarding sports celebrations. Do we really need to see a sack dance by a player whose team is down by thirty points? Or do we need to see chestpounding after a "garbage time" basket in the NBA? Celebrations should provide meaning. In other words they should be frames for action; communicative moments that appropriately define the tone of a battle. Watching a game with hundreds of these types of gestures is like watching a soap opera with Jaws music.
Sports are meaning-making structures in modern societies. As a large part of the marketing arm in sports, celebrations are symbols of what makes us tick. ESPN highlights routinely reveal that Americans are individualistic, demonstrative, and results-oriented. Reggie Bush's ill-fated celebration conformed to the first two norms, but not the last.
That's why history will see it as a "Super Bowl Scuttle."
Written by Sati
MAMQB Fans, enjoy this piece by Sati, a sharp Chicago kid with diverse sports knowledge, and the first Guest Writer here at The Monday AM QB.
Reggie Bush’s Eating Crow Dance: When Celebration in Sports Goes Overboard
Mea Culpa. Forgive me Pappa Bear Halas for I have sinned. I went against my heart, the city that raised me, and the team that I have always supported. There I said it.
Who woulda thunk it: the Bears roll over the divinely-appointed Saints to make the Super Bowl for the first time in 21 years. Most experts, and this humble writer, predicted that the Saints' high-powered offense would overwhelm the erratic Bears.
In fairness none of us predicted that star rookie running back Reggie Bush would have a figurative "Leon Lett Moment" that would awaken the hibernating beast that is the Chicago Bears Defense. On the first possession of the second half, Saints QB Drew Brees hit Bush for what looked like a routine short yardage pass. The former USC Trojan accelerated into a triangle of collapsing Bears defenders then, with a quick jiggle of the shoulders, left all three standing and burst diagonally for an 88 yard statement TD. The "statement" should've been the run itself: the virtuousity, the vision, the freakish agility. More important, the score drew the Saints within 2 points of the Bears. Yet, by fingerpointing at a bevy of pursuing defenders and showing them the ball Bush chose to make it a statement for his own poor judgement. After that bitchslap, the Bears sideline looked like a swarm of agitated bees. The defense, led by a fired up line, subsequently put Brees and company on lockdown for the rest of the game. The offense also responded with 23 unanswered points. Final score: Bears 39, Saints 14.
Sometime in the midst of that beatdown Bush reportedly told his coach "I shouldn't have done that."
Son, no you shouldn't have.
In larger context, let me state my opinion on "celebrating" in sports as I increasingly hear a litany of complaints from commentators and fans against player celebrations. My position is largely historical. Ever since Muhammad Ali's crazed weigh-in against Sonny Liston in 1963, demonstrative self-aggrandizement has had a storied place in professional sports. Think about such notable hype artists as Joe Namath, Julius Erving, Richard Petty, Sugar Ray Leonard, Ricky Henderson, Deion Sanders, Michael Jordan, Magic Johnson, Charles Barkley, Dikembe Mutumbo, and Tiger Woods. Nowadays no one says "I'm too pretty" or "I'm gonna win in eight to show I'm great." The vernacular of "Ali Rap" has morphed into the instantly accessible non-verbal statement: the chest-pounding, the end-zone dance, the sack dance, the post home-run walk, and yes the pointing to the sky (as if God has chosen me).
And let us not forget that the Bears are no stranger to celebratory taunting. Anyone remember a little thing called "The Super Bowl Shuffle"? Don't get me wrong, it was an endearing piece of "bad ass" propaganda and I loved it; but given the fact that it was filmed in November, it basically told the NFL—which makes its coin on competitiveness and indeterminacy—to go fuck itself. This, was of course apparent after they did, in fact, coast to a Super Bowl championship.
However, just because celebration has a fixed position in modern sports doesn't mean it should always be condoned. Certain types of taunting like trampling on an opponent's logo, as Terrell Owens did in Dallas a few years back, or more recently the Patriots to the Chargers, should be prohibited. And excessively violent gestures such as throat slashing and gravedigging should yield stiff penalties, as they do currently.
Furthermore, I would like to see an emphasis on "context" regarding sports celebrations. Do we really need to see a sack dance by a player whose team is down by thirty points? Or do we need to see chestpounding after a "garbage time" basket in the NBA? Celebrations should provide meaning. In other words they should be frames for action; communicative moments that appropriately define the tone of a battle. Watching a game with hundreds of these types of gestures is like watching a soap opera with Jaws music.
Sports are meaning-making structures in modern societies. As a large part of the marketing arm in sports, celebrations are symbols of what makes us tick. ESPN highlights routinely reveal that Americans are individualistic, demonstrative, and results-oriented. Reggie Bush's ill-fated celebration conformed to the first two norms, but not the last.
That's why history will see it as a "Super Bowl Scuttle."
Written by Sati
The Chump on the Bump
A story inspired by Dr. Seuss (and Jim Hendry)
In fact, he played two…
In one sport he caught,
In the other, he threw.
If we had Kenny Williams
A GM who makes moves
And still saves his club millions
In fact, he played two…
In one sport he caught,
In the other, he threw.
He liked each sport a lot,
But at the end of the day
He had to make up his mind
About which sport to play.
“One sport can fill egos
--that’s football, no doubt,
But baseball can fill up
My savings account.
“In one I’d feel worried…
Due to franchise bad luck,
But I don’t think I’d feel
Like I was hit by a truck.
“In one I’d feel good
Because the loyalty’s sacred…
In the other, a lack of
Performance means hatred.
“In one, I’d be running
From men, big and burly…
In the other, I’m certain
My season ends early!
“In one, if we win,
I could play in a bowl…
But in one, if we lose,
I'd still make payroll!”
With each talking point
Jeff’s mind kept on turning
He worried less about football
And more about earning.
With his future decided,
Jeff went to the media…
“Baseball it is!
Sorry football, be seein’ ya!
“I had a great time
As an ND receiver,
But as a potential Cubs starter
I’ll wind up a reliever,
“My checks will be huge
While I’m on the DL,
So be damned, NFL,
-- Goodell, go to hell!
“I’ll get Tommy John surgery
And recoup through ‘09
…Cubs fans will miss me so much
They’ll build me a shrine!
“With increased adulation
Having no stats to back it--
I can return with no skills
And blame Cubby ‘black magic’!
“Thank God for the Goat!
Give thanks to Steve Barton!
For every bad outing–
An excuse by the carton!
“I’ll have money and women,
My life will be sweet!
And all I need to lose
Is my will to compete!”
Accountability’s lost
While the GM's dropping pennies
The fans remain pissed…
But Jeff swears by Jim Hendry!
So the Chump on the Bump
Will give up football this spring
And also his chance
For a Super Bowl ring.
Yep, Jeff will play baseball
…but we all know the truth—
If we got offers from Hendry
We’d all wear Cubby Blue.
If we had Kenny Williams
A GM who makes moves
And still saves his club millions
But this is the story
of Jeff, and the reasons
For the Cubs’ fan main chorus--
“There’s always next season!”
-Rhino (the disgruntled Cubs fan)
NFL Playoffs 2007 –Super Bowl XLI – A Guide to Getting Paid
Going into the Conference Championship round I was down $90. I made some bold predictions and in the end, came out ahead.
Here’s a breakdown of last weekend’s action:
$200 Chicago -1/Over 43 (Parlay) +$540
$200 Over 43 (Bears/Saints) +$200
$100 New England +3 -$110
$100 Under 47.5 (Pats/Colts) -$110
$100 NE+3/Under 47.5 (Parlay) -$110
So as it stands, going into Super Bowl Weekend, I’m up $420. Not bad, almost 50% increase.
I will start my Super Bowl pick by letting you all in on a little secret.
I’m going to Vegas for the game. It’s the third time I’ve done this, and historically, I’m 50%. The only time I actually collected on a Super Bowl bet was back in 2003 for Super Bowl XXXVII when Tampa Bay beat the Raiders up and down the field. I hit a parlay, and the initial feeling was like seeing a girl naked for the first time…I was hooked. The next year I took The Patriots, who won the game but didn’t cover.
This year I’m looking to make a statement and move to 2 for 3.
SUPER BOWL XLI – CHICAGO BEARS vs. INDIANAPOLIS COLTS
EARLY LINE: COLTS -7 O/U 48.5
This game hits close to home. Growing up in a suburb of Chicago, I’ve been two things my entire life: a Bears fan and a White Sox fan. In 2005 I got to witness, first hand, the joy of a baseball team winning a World Series and the difference it can make in someone’s life. It was a joyous moment for the City of Chicago and the fans. But there’s one thing about Chicago that outsiders may not comprehend…Nothing can compare to a Bears Super Bowl win. The World Series was a big deal, but you have to remember, this is a City with TWO baseball teams. You’ve got two very different groups of people rooting for two very different teams. In essence, it’s a City divided.
But EVERYONE loves the Bears. EVERYONE. A Super Bowl XLI win could quite possibly SHUT CHICAGO DOWN. I for one want to see it happen…people marching down the Dan Ryan in controlled chaos, Mayor Daley making February 4th a state wide holiday, Jay Mariotti getting lynched and hug from the antennae of the Sears Tower, Chris Farley’s body exhumed for one more episode of Bill Swerski’s Super Fans, Jim Belushi dropping dead of a heart attack…it’d be a great day in the history of the City.
But enough of that gibberish…time to break this one down.
THE NUMBERS:
The Bears and the Colts have played seven games since Super Bowl XX, and the Bears have won six of them.
Indy’s regular season losses came at the hands of Dallas, Tennessee, Jacksonville, and Houston. The Bears were beat by Miami, New England, and Green Bay.
On the road to the Super Bowl the Colts have beaten Kansas City, Baltimore, and New England. The Bears have defeated Seattle and New Orleans.
All the trends point to this game playing OVER, however the Bears Defense has stepped up their game and with the exception of the New England game the Colt’s D has been stellar in the playoffs.
In the first three playoff appearances, Peyton Manning has thrown 2 TD’s and 6 INT’s. Rex Grossman has thrown 2 TD’s and 1 INT.
Speaking of turnovers, the Bears are +3 in the Giveaway/Takeaway column.
By the numbers, the Colts Defense has been the best in the playoffs, allowing 229 yards/game while holding opponents to a 22.2% Third Down Success Rate, and a meager 16 points per game. But they have been the most penalized with 16 flags for 115 yards.
The Bears Defense is ranked seventh, allowing 340.5 yards/game with a 35.7% Third Down Success Rate, and only 19 points per game. The unit has been flagged 11 times for 63 yards.
AND by the numbers, these two teams match up well offensively. The Colts are ranked #2 in the playoffs and the Bears #3.
The Colts, 383 yards/game, 47% Third Down, 10 penalties for 91 yards, 25 points/game played (3) came to life last weekend after falling behind 21-3 to Tom Brady and the Patriots.
The Bears, 355 yards/game, 30.6% Third Down, 6 penalties for 45 yards, 33 points/game played (2) have been feeding opponents a steady diet of Thomas Jones and Cedric Benson to set up Rex Grossman for the deep ball.
Those are the numbers of this whole thing.
But when one steps back to analyze this game there are a few match ups to consider.
Peyton Manning vs. Brian Urlacher.
Both are great football minds. Both are young players whose names have been mentioned with the all time greats of the sport. Peyton is the field general of the offense, Brian is the master of the defense. These two are going to toy with each other all game, but in the end I think Urlacher will get the best of Peyton.
John Tait vs. Dwight Freeney.
John Tait has been great at left tackle all season for the Bears. But he faces Freeney whose numbers (29 tackles, 5.5 sacks, 4 forced fumbles) speak for themselves.
Devin Hester vs. Colts Special Teams.
New England’s return man Ellis Hobbs had a great day against the Colt’s weak kick coverage, and Hobbs is by no means the ‘Windy City Flier.’ Hester might be able to break one in the biggest game of his career.
Cedric Benson vs. Colts Defense.
Benson has been used effectively in the first two playoff games as a human battering ram. The man runs north and south, usually right at would be tacklers, and more often than not, over them. He’s been able to soften the Defense and give Thomas Jones the ability to run wild. These two make a perfect one-two punch.
Marvin Harrison/Reggie Wayne vs. Charles Tillman.
‘Peanut’ Tillman has been picked on in every game this post season. Quarterbacks know to stay away from Nathan Vasher, so Tillman ends up being exploited. Tillman was the man who was three steps behind Steve Smith in the 2005 NFC playoff game, when Smith racked up over 200 yards receiving.
Colts Offensive Line vs. Bears Defensive Line.
With the loss of Tommie Harris the Bears D-Line had been lacking pressure on the Quarterback, until last week against the #1 offense in the NFL. But with legal troubles potentially keeping Tank Johnson in the state of Illinois for the Super Bowl, the Bears may need to find another source of pressure. It’s a known that Blitzing Defenses get CARVED UP by Peyton Manning, so the D Line must get pressure.
That’s a lot to digest.
Bottom line:
I’m taking the Bears and the points. I personally don’t think that any team can beat the Bears if they play the way they did last week. Yes, Peyton lead is team to a huge come from behind victory against his arch rival Tom Brady. But I think the Bears are too much to handle.
And I’ve said it for three straight weeks and been wrong every time…Peyton Manning will lose.
This time it’s nice to know that loss will come at the hands of My Chicago Bears.
BEARS +7, UNDER 48.5
Monday, January 22, 2007
This Week's Tasty Nuggets
First, let me congratulate the Bears and the Colts on making the Super Bowl. I've gotten bashed by my fellow Bears fans for picking them to lose to the Seahawks, and I deserve it. I'm an asshole and I should have never doubted the Bears. And to all you Colts fans, although I do not have a lot of love for any member of the Manning clan, I am glad to see you guys there also because I think Indy is a class organization and you guys are good fans. That being said, let the shit talking begin!
About the game: the media is touting the fact that this is the first time a black head coach has made the Super Bowl. Well, both coaches are black. I don't think that should be the thing talked about with these two men though. It should be the fact that these may be the two calmest coaches to make a Super Bowl. Neither men are hard nosed, foul mouthed types and both are classy guys that any franchise would love to have as the face of their organizations.
Well, it didn't take long. Another Bengal was arrested today. Wow. What a shock. And no, it wasn't Chris Henry again. This time it was CB Jonathan Joseph. He was arrested for marijuana possession early this morning while driving near his home in Kentucky. According to ronmexico.com he must now go by the pseudonym of Hank Montserrat.
I swear it wasn't me
this time!
Speaking of Ron Mexico, it was announced today that a Miami Dade crime lab has found no evidence of marijuana on the water bottle taken from at an airport last Wednesday. Sounds to me like Horatio Caine pulled some strings on this one. OK, first of all, as a previous article stated, if this happened to any of us peasants we would have been apprehended, given a thorough full body cavity search, and had our asses thrown in the slammer. But I guess that's one of the perks that comes with being one Ron Mexico. Now they're saying that there was no marijuana residue, but they did not say what the substance was that looked like marijuana, smelled like marijuana, and was in a hidden compartment. Now, the conspiracy theorist in me says this: the Dolphins are in disarray, probably would love to have a new QB, and the Falcons are rumored to have had enough of Vick's antics and are somewhat shopping him around. I'm not saying, I'm just saying.......
Another rumor is that Oakland is prepared to package Randy Moss and a first round pick for Mexico. Huh? The main reason Falcons owner Arthur Blank wants to trade Mexico is because of his image problems. And he's gonna get Randy Moss in return??? That's like saying "Hey, I'll trade you this piece of shit for your piece of crap!" You're getting the exact same problems, possibly more problems, if you make that trade.
Mr. Wolf, I want the Dolphins
to get a Super Bowl ring! Make
sure Ron Mexico is not in jail
for next season!
Speaking of the Falcons, former head coach Jim Mora Jr. got his wish. Well, sort of. We probably all remember how he went on a Seattle radio station and professed his love of the idea of him coaching the Washington Huskies, even going as far as to say that he would abandon the Falcons in the middle of a playoff run to take the job. He has just been hired as the new assistant head coach of the Seahawks, bringing him even closer to his dream job. It is rumored that he is the heir apparent to an aging Mike Holmgren.
The Steelers hired Bill Cowher's replacement today. Mike Tomlin, who spent last season as Minnesota's defensive coordinator, was given a four year contract. Given the Steelers' history (2 head coaches the last 40 years) that contract will be renewed several times over.
Jerry Jones had a decision: T.O. or Front Butt. I think Skeletor must have been taking advice from The BooYah Network resident cokehead and T.O. anal prober Michael Irvin when he made his decision. Now, I know Front Butt said he "retired" (how many times have we heard that one?), but a big part of me says that Skeletor was given an ultimatum by his coach: him or me, especially since he was prepared to attend the Senior Bowl and do all the offseason thing a returning coach does. And lets face it, Front Butt is in the same category as Larry Brown and Nick Saban: the grass is always greener on the other side (or in Ron Mexico's water bottle). He will coach somewhere in 2008, I guarantee it.
I choose T.O.!
Front Butt: Coaching in a city
near you!
What happened to the great Bill Belichick yesterday? Up 21-3, and he decides to throw the ball like he's down 21-3?!?! Couldn't have happened to a better man. Everyone is expected to bow down and kiss his feet, but when it was time to congratulate Peyton Manning on a good game he walked past him and brushed him off. What a fucking baby. LT was right. He absolutely has no class.
But I'm a genius! I demand
that I be given a spot in the
Super Bowl!
Time for everyone's favorite part, The Mockery Former Player of the Week. I decided to go with a former Colt in honor of their Super Bowl appearance, so I picked my favorite member of the 1994 team: backup QB Don "The Magic Man" Majkowski. He became a member of the Colts in 1993 after an average career in Green Bay, which ended with an injury, which led to the entry of then backup Brett Favre, who has yet to sit a game since then.
You may be no Brett Favre,
Magic Man, but you are
the MAMQB Mockery
Former Player of the
Week!
About the game: the media is touting the fact that this is the first time a black head coach has made the Super Bowl. Well, both coaches are black. I don't think that should be the thing talked about with these two men though. It should be the fact that these may be the two calmest coaches to make a Super Bowl. Neither men are hard nosed, foul mouthed types and both are classy guys that any franchise would love to have as the face of their organizations.
Well, it didn't take long. Another Bengal was arrested today. Wow. What a shock. And no, it wasn't Chris Henry again. This time it was CB Jonathan Joseph. He was arrested for marijuana possession early this morning while driving near his home in Kentucky. According to ronmexico.com he must now go by the pseudonym of Hank Montserrat.
I swear it wasn't me
this time!
Speaking of Ron Mexico, it was announced today that a Miami Dade crime lab has found no evidence of marijuana on the water bottle taken from at an airport last Wednesday. Sounds to me like Horatio Caine pulled some strings on this one. OK, first of all, as a previous article stated, if this happened to any of us peasants we would have been apprehended, given a thorough full body cavity search, and had our asses thrown in the slammer. But I guess that's one of the perks that comes with being one Ron Mexico. Now they're saying that there was no marijuana residue, but they did not say what the substance was that looked like marijuana, smelled like marijuana, and was in a hidden compartment. Now, the conspiracy theorist in me says this: the Dolphins are in disarray, probably would love to have a new QB, and the Falcons are rumored to have had enough of Vick's antics and are somewhat shopping him around. I'm not saying, I'm just saying.......
Another rumor is that Oakland is prepared to package Randy Moss and a first round pick for Mexico. Huh? The main reason Falcons owner Arthur Blank wants to trade Mexico is because of his image problems. And he's gonna get Randy Moss in return??? That's like saying "Hey, I'll trade you this piece of shit for your piece of crap!" You're getting the exact same problems, possibly more problems, if you make that trade.
Mr. Wolf, I want the Dolphins
to get a Super Bowl ring! Make
sure Ron Mexico is not in jail
for next season!
Speaking of the Falcons, former head coach Jim Mora Jr. got his wish. Well, sort of. We probably all remember how he went on a Seattle radio station and professed his love of the idea of him coaching the Washington Huskies, even going as far as to say that he would abandon the Falcons in the middle of a playoff run to take the job. He has just been hired as the new assistant head coach of the Seahawks, bringing him even closer to his dream job. It is rumored that he is the heir apparent to an aging Mike Holmgren.
The Steelers hired Bill Cowher's replacement today. Mike Tomlin, who spent last season as Minnesota's defensive coordinator, was given a four year contract. Given the Steelers' history (2 head coaches the last 40 years) that contract will be renewed several times over.
Jerry Jones had a decision: T.O. or Front Butt. I think Skeletor must have been taking advice from The BooYah Network resident cokehead and T.O. anal prober Michael Irvin when he made his decision. Now, I know Front Butt said he "retired" (how many times have we heard that one?), but a big part of me says that Skeletor was given an ultimatum by his coach: him or me, especially since he was prepared to attend the Senior Bowl and do all the offseason thing a returning coach does. And lets face it, Front Butt is in the same category as Larry Brown and Nick Saban: the grass is always greener on the other side (or in Ron Mexico's water bottle). He will coach somewhere in 2008, I guarantee it.
I choose T.O.!
Front Butt: Coaching in a city
near you!
What happened to the great Bill Belichick yesterday? Up 21-3, and he decides to throw the ball like he's down 21-3?!?! Couldn't have happened to a better man. Everyone is expected to bow down and kiss his feet, but when it was time to congratulate Peyton Manning on a good game he walked past him and brushed him off. What a fucking baby. LT was right. He absolutely has no class.
But I'm a genius! I demand
that I be given a spot in the
Super Bowl!
Time for everyone's favorite part, The Mockery Former Player of the Week. I decided to go with a former Colt in honor of their Super Bowl appearance, so I picked my favorite member of the 1994 team: backup QB Don "The Magic Man" Majkowski. He became a member of the Colts in 1993 after an average career in Green Bay, which ended with an injury, which led to the entry of then backup Brett Favre, who has yet to sit a game since then.
You may be no Brett Favre,
Magic Man, but you are
the MAMQB Mockery
Former Player of the
Week!
An Open Letter to Tom Brady (WARNING: Satire Ahead)
Fuck you Tom. Fuck you right in the mouth. Fuck you like a skinny white boy in a state penitentiary.
Yup. I’m done with you fella. Once upon a time I stood by your side, defended you to the critics who hated, praised your abilities and knowledge of the game. Once upon a time you even inspired me to be an over achiever, just like you.
But not any more. Now I see you for what you are…a worthless, no good, piece of cow shit.
What has brought on this tirade? Why have you lost a loyal fan?
Because you could not complete one easy task. One thing I’ve been predicting for three straight weeks, and I truly though you were my man.
I guess I was wrong.
Why did you let me down Tom? Is Peyton really that good? You couldn’t get the job done. Now I’ve got to deal with this prick in the Super Bowl against my beloved Bears.
Was is Giselle?
I know that’s one primo piece of pie, but come on man…do you really want the kid from Titanic’s sloppy seconds?
Was it Belichick?
Have you had enough of him? It’s the sleeves on the sweatshirt thing, isn’t it? I can almost understand.
Was it Reche Caldwell?
He couldn’t catch syphilis in a whore house.
What ever it was, I’m not listening to your bullshit excuse. You’re supposed to be the Ace #1 Top Dog King Dick in the game, and you end up making me look like a fucking moron.
I thought I could count on you Tom.
Learned an important lesson last night...if you need something done, you must do it your self. That said, I'm going to have to rely on THE BEARS to stop Manning.
Have fun in the off season…douche bag.
PS: I HOPE THIS FUCKING HURT LIKE SHIT
Yup. I’m done with you fella. Once upon a time I stood by your side, defended you to the critics who hated, praised your abilities and knowledge of the game. Once upon a time you even inspired me to be an over achiever, just like you.
But not any more. Now I see you for what you are…a worthless, no good, piece of cow shit.
What has brought on this tirade? Why have you lost a loyal fan?
Because you could not complete one easy task. One thing I’ve been predicting for three straight weeks, and I truly though you were my man.
I guess I was wrong.
Why did you let me down Tom? Is Peyton really that good? You couldn’t get the job done. Now I’ve got to deal with this prick in the Super Bowl against my beloved Bears.
Was is Giselle?
I know that’s one primo piece of pie, but come on man…do you really want the kid from Titanic’s sloppy seconds?
Was it Belichick?
Have you had enough of him? It’s the sleeves on the sweatshirt thing, isn’t it? I can almost understand.
Was it Reche Caldwell?
He couldn’t catch syphilis in a whore house.
What ever it was, I’m not listening to your bullshit excuse. You’re supposed to be the Ace #1 Top Dog King Dick in the game, and you end up making me look like a fucking moron.
I thought I could count on you Tom.
Learned an important lesson last night...if you need something done, you must do it your self. That said, I'm going to have to rely on THE BEARS to stop Manning.
Have fun in the off season…douche bag.
PS: I HOPE THIS FUCKING HURT LIKE SHIT
Sunday, January 21, 2007
Reggie Bush League
First off, let me state that I I am writing this column with a slight buzz. I watched the Bears advance to the Super Bowl this afternoon with fellow MAMQB writer Big Willie, and to celebrate we went to a local bar near me and tipped back a few more cold ones in the company of future NFL Hall of Famer Mike Alstott.
My thoughts on todays game are pretty simple. The Bears dominated, Bernard Berrian in one single amazing catch showed the whole country what I have been saying about him all year (he is a staple on my keeper fantasy team), that he is the most underrated WR in the league.
The thing that sticks out for me is this though. I am the only Bears fan in my family. I grew up in a household of Packer fans, so life in the 90's sucked for me. I'm sure I don't have to explain to anyone reading this the hatred that Packer fans have for the Bears and vice versa. When I called my Dad to ask him in a smartass way how the Packers did today he told me something I couldn't believe: he said he was glad the Bears won. I was floored. He had one reason: Reggie Bush. He made a spectacular play, outran the entire Bears defense, and at about the 5 yard line started pointing, then did a somersault into the end zone. The fact that no flag was thrown for taunting speaks volumes about how the NFL believes Bush is the future face of the NFL. I had to laugh though since, and i hope Reggie actually reads this, HE WAS STILL LOSING!!! You, Reggie Bush, are an asshole, and I hope you enjoy watching the Super Bowl on your parents couch in the house that the USC Boosters Club bought for them!
As I am writing this the Colts have just won their game. The look on Belichick's face is priceless. Good. Fuck him. But I have to wonder this: will ESPN even discuss the Super Bowl in the two upcoming weeks? After all, Chicago is in the midwest. Indy is in the midwest. And as far as ESPN is concerned the midwest doesn't matter. If it doesn't concern the eastcoast then it doesn't concern ESPN.
P.S. Some of you may notice I have a new name on here. I am the artist formerly known as Rudedogg, but I now have new name in honor of Michael Vick's recent legal troubles. Go to www.ronmexico.com and click on the name generator to get your Ron Mexico name.
My thoughts on todays game are pretty simple. The Bears dominated, Bernard Berrian in one single amazing catch showed the whole country what I have been saying about him all year (he is a staple on my keeper fantasy team), that he is the most underrated WR in the league.
The thing that sticks out for me is this though. I am the only Bears fan in my family. I grew up in a household of Packer fans, so life in the 90's sucked for me. I'm sure I don't have to explain to anyone reading this the hatred that Packer fans have for the Bears and vice versa. When I called my Dad to ask him in a smartass way how the Packers did today he told me something I couldn't believe: he said he was glad the Bears won. I was floored. He had one reason: Reggie Bush. He made a spectacular play, outran the entire Bears defense, and at about the 5 yard line started pointing, then did a somersault into the end zone. The fact that no flag was thrown for taunting speaks volumes about how the NFL believes Bush is the future face of the NFL. I had to laugh though since, and i hope Reggie actually reads this, HE WAS STILL LOSING!!! You, Reggie Bush, are an asshole, and I hope you enjoy watching the Super Bowl on your parents couch in the house that the USC Boosters Club bought for them!
As I am writing this the Colts have just won their game. The look on Belichick's face is priceless. Good. Fuck him. But I have to wonder this: will ESPN even discuss the Super Bowl in the two upcoming weeks? After all, Chicago is in the midwest. Indy is in the midwest. And as far as ESPN is concerned the midwest doesn't matter. If it doesn't concern the eastcoast then it doesn't concern ESPN.
P.S. Some of you may notice I have a new name on here. I am the artist formerly known as Rudedogg, but I now have new name in honor of Michael Vick's recent legal troubles. Go to www.ronmexico.com and click on the name generator to get your Ron Mexico name.
Who Dat? Who Dat? Who Dat Dat Beat Dem Saints?
FUCK YES.
That's all I have to say. The Bears D has OWNED the Saints. One play (Reggie Bush 80+ yard TD) has been the only sign of offense the Saints have mustered.
Hurricane DitKA vs. Hurricane Katrina....who WINS?
39-14 right now....
BEARS ARE HEADIN' TO SUPERBOWL XLI!!!!!!!!
Rematch of Super Bowl XX??
I've got wood...
Thursday, January 18, 2007
Da Doubletalkin' Coach
For years I, like many Chicago Bears fans, have held a place close to my heart for a certain coach who coached a certain team to a Super Bowl XX victory. Mike Ditka is a god in Chicago and will be immortalized forever in sports lore in the Windy City because of one season, although some say he is actually an underachiever since he did not lead that squad to more than one championship. He is also a national celebrity. How many head coaches have had a co-starring role in a movie or had many skits done about him on Saturday Night Live? He is less of a coach and more of a character. He has distinct ties to the Bears, although by recent comments made by him you wouldn't be able to tell that. Yesterday in a string of interviews Ditka would not predict a winner for Sunday's Bears-Saints game, saying "If you're asking me to pick a team, I don't do that.", claiming that he needs to be "an objective member of the media." That would be fine, except he picked a winner in the AFC title game.
Now, Ditka was fired by both the Bears and the Saints, which led him to air dirty laundry with both teams owners. I don't think this is an example of being objective at all. I'm not saying his assessment of both owners is wrong. Everyone in Chicago knows McCaskey is a dope, and Tom Benson is known as one of the worst owners in football. Some media members see Ditka's rants as a way to get attention, but I think it is much deeper than that. Although he acts like a hardass, he is actually quite sensitive. I think this is all a preemptive strike. He is afraid that if Chicago does actually win the Super Bowl that his status in the city will decline. This is false though, since, like I said, he is more known for the aura which is the personality of Ditka, not so much for coaching the Bears. He is also covering his bases in case someone asks "Lovie Smith/Sean Payton won, why didn't you win more than you did?". A smart way to handle this and not come off as a baby would have been to say something like "the game could go either way" and then just move on. But thats not Ditka. He always needs to stir the pot to keep that red ass image going.
Ditka tells everyone to shove their
predictions up their ass!
Now, Ditka was fired by both the Bears and the Saints, which led him to air dirty laundry with both teams owners. I don't think this is an example of being objective at all. I'm not saying his assessment of both owners is wrong. Everyone in Chicago knows McCaskey is a dope, and Tom Benson is known as one of the worst owners in football. Some media members see Ditka's rants as a way to get attention, but I think it is much deeper than that. Although he acts like a hardass, he is actually quite sensitive. I think this is all a preemptive strike. He is afraid that if Chicago does actually win the Super Bowl that his status in the city will decline. This is false though, since, like I said, he is more known for the aura which is the personality of Ditka, not so much for coaching the Bears. He is also covering his bases in case someone asks "Lovie Smith/Sean Payton won, why didn't you win more than you did?". A smart way to handle this and not come off as a baby would have been to say something like "the game could go either way" and then just move on. But thats not Ditka. He always needs to stir the pot to keep that red ass image going.
Ditka tells everyone to shove their
predictions up their ass!
Where da Weed At?
It’s been reported today that Mike Vick (Ron Mexico) was breifly detained this morning at Miami International Airport after reluctantly handing over his water bottle to security screeners. Upon investigation TSA found a secret compartment within his water bottle which held an unnamed substance and smelled of marijuana.Vick was not arrested and was aloud to board the plane.
I for one have a huge problem with this. What if I got busted with a little weed boarding a flight? An average Joe like myself would be immediately cuffed and dragged off to the bowels of the airport for questioning in a dark room under a bright light which would most likely end up with my name being placed on a suspected terrorist list, banned from flight for life, and subject to annual IRS audits.
But I’d still have one up on Vick…I’ve never been accused of knowingly giving a woman herpes…
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Winter Baseball Report
We find it easy this time of year to focus on the NFL intensively, but there is always news from the baseball world in the months leading up to spring training. I personally have decided to make a conscientious effort to stay on top of MLB happenings during the off season and spring training.
With that, I bring you the first MLB Report.
It’s being reported that the Texas Rangers have offered one time slugger, corked bat connoisseur, and suspected juicer ‘Slammin’ Sammy Sosa, a minor league deal. Texas, where Sosa started his career in 1989, is rumored to be close to a minor league deal which will get Sammy’s foot in the door for Spring Training.
"This is about giving a guy a second chance," general manager Jon Daniels said.
Great. Sammy’s GOOD for baseball. Just like Crack is good for kids…
What the hell are the Rangers thinking? Signing this guy to any sort of contract would be an absolute disaster. They should put a call into some of the Cubs who played with Mr. Sosa in his prime and see what they think of him. Not to mention the reaction Sosa would get standing in right field in virtually any MLB park outside of Texas. There’s a reason he hasn’t played in the league since 2005.
More on this story next week.
The Chicago White Sox have come to terms with their Super Star 3rd baseman Joe Crede.
Yes, I said SUPER STAR. Anyone who watched the MLB Playoffs in 2005 would know this kid from small town Missouri is the real deal.
By inking Crede to a one year, $4.94M contract, the Sox have avoided arbitration, but this season may be his last in a Sox uniform. Crede has been plagued by back problems for years, resulting in the Sox brass to refrain from signing Crede to a multi-year deal. They’ve also got 24 year old Josh Fields, a huge minor league prospect at 3rd base.
Crede’s future may be a question mark heading into the ’08 season, but for now he’s a member of the White Sox and that’s all that matters.
On the other side of town in Chicago, the Cubs have asked one time prospect and second coming of the Lord Jesus Christ himself Mark Prior, to take a pay cut. Prior, 1-6 with a 7.21 ERA last season, made $3.65M in another season shortened by injury. It was reported that he was seeking $3.875M payday this season. The Cubs have offered him $3.4M.
Prior, who has been with the Cubs since 2002, has only broken the 200 inning plateau once, in 2003, when he went 18-6 as a starter. Since then, he’s 18-17 and has pitched a total of 327.6 innings, with only 43 in the 2006 campaign.
In other Cubbie news, Carlos Zambrano has come to the table with a request for a considerable increase in pay. Last season Zambrano, 16-7 with a 3.41 ERA, was one of the few bright spots in a long and dismal year which ended with the departure of manager Dusty Baker. Zambrano’s paycheck? A respectable $6.65M. The Cubs have reportedly offered him $11.025M a year, a nice payday for the man who has emerged as the ace of the staff. But Zambrano has bigger plans. He has requested $15.5M in arbitration, and based on the Cubs’ spending as of late, he just may get it.
But the man who stands to make out the best this off-season may be Florida star Miguel Cabrera who is seeking $7.4M a year from the Marlins. Florida has offered Cabrera $6.7M. If Cabrera gets his way, he’s looking at a $6,928,000 a year raise. Not bad.
Here’s an interesting tidbit about the arbitration process: Overall, players in arbitration averaged a 109 percent increase last year
Other News:
It appears JD Drew’s 5 year $70M deal with Boston isn’t a done deal. The agreement was announced on Dec. 5, but as of today, Drew still does not have a contract with the team. Boston is concerned with Drew’s surgically repaired right shoulder.
Major League Baseball has chosen Yankee Stadium as the sight of the 2008 All Star Game. That will be a nice tribute to the stadium which has stood since 1923, which is closing in 2009.
The St. Louis Cardinals passed a series of screenings by the Department of Homeland Security and were at the White House the other day to meet President Bush after winning the 2006 World Series. David Eckstein presented Bush with a Cardinals jersey. Not present: Albert Pujols. He must have figured he looks too middle-eastern.
And finally, the San Francisco Giants announced they are having the largest scoreboard of any MLB park installed for the 2007 season. Is this a sign that Bonds’ head has grown even larger? Must be the flaxseed oil cream.
That’s it for now. Look for this column every Wednesday!
With that, I bring you the first MLB Report.
It’s being reported that the Texas Rangers have offered one time slugger, corked bat connoisseur, and suspected juicer ‘Slammin’ Sammy Sosa, a minor league deal. Texas, where Sosa started his career in 1989, is rumored to be close to a minor league deal which will get Sammy’s foot in the door for Spring Training.
"This is about giving a guy a second chance," general manager Jon Daniels said.
Great. Sammy’s GOOD for baseball. Just like Crack is good for kids…
What the hell are the Rangers thinking? Signing this guy to any sort of contract would be an absolute disaster. They should put a call into some of the Cubs who played with Mr. Sosa in his prime and see what they think of him. Not to mention the reaction Sosa would get standing in right field in virtually any MLB park outside of Texas. There’s a reason he hasn’t played in the league since 2005.
More on this story next week.
The Chicago White Sox have come to terms with their Super Star 3rd baseman Joe Crede.
Yes, I said SUPER STAR. Anyone who watched the MLB Playoffs in 2005 would know this kid from small town Missouri is the real deal.
By inking Crede to a one year, $4.94M contract, the Sox have avoided arbitration, but this season may be his last in a Sox uniform. Crede has been plagued by back problems for years, resulting in the Sox brass to refrain from signing Crede to a multi-year deal. They’ve also got 24 year old Josh Fields, a huge minor league prospect at 3rd base.
Crede’s future may be a question mark heading into the ’08 season, but for now he’s a member of the White Sox and that’s all that matters.
On the other side of town in Chicago, the Cubs have asked one time prospect and second coming of the Lord Jesus Christ himself Mark Prior, to take a pay cut. Prior, 1-6 with a 7.21 ERA last season, made $3.65M in another season shortened by injury. It was reported that he was seeking $3.875M payday this season. The Cubs have offered him $3.4M.
Prior, who has been with the Cubs since 2002, has only broken the 200 inning plateau once, in 2003, when he went 18-6 as a starter. Since then, he’s 18-17 and has pitched a total of 327.6 innings, with only 43 in the 2006 campaign.
In other Cubbie news, Carlos Zambrano has come to the table with a request for a considerable increase in pay. Last season Zambrano, 16-7 with a 3.41 ERA, was one of the few bright spots in a long and dismal year which ended with the departure of manager Dusty Baker. Zambrano’s paycheck? A respectable $6.65M. The Cubs have reportedly offered him $11.025M a year, a nice payday for the man who has emerged as the ace of the staff. But Zambrano has bigger plans. He has requested $15.5M in arbitration, and based on the Cubs’ spending as of late, he just may get it.
But the man who stands to make out the best this off-season may be Florida star Miguel Cabrera who is seeking $7.4M a year from the Marlins. Florida has offered Cabrera $6.7M. If Cabrera gets his way, he’s looking at a $6,928,000 a year raise. Not bad.
Here’s an interesting tidbit about the arbitration process: Overall, players in arbitration averaged a 109 percent increase last year
Other News:
It appears JD Drew’s 5 year $70M deal with Boston isn’t a done deal. The agreement was announced on Dec. 5, but as of today, Drew still does not have a contract with the team. Boston is concerned with Drew’s surgically repaired right shoulder.
Major League Baseball has chosen Yankee Stadium as the sight of the 2008 All Star Game. That will be a nice tribute to the stadium which has stood since 1923, which is closing in 2009.
The St. Louis Cardinals passed a series of screenings by the Department of Homeland Security and were at the White House the other day to meet President Bush after winning the 2006 World Series. David Eckstein presented Bush with a Cardinals jersey. Not present: Albert Pujols. He must have figured he looks too middle-eastern.
And finally, the San Francisco Giants announced they are having the largest scoreboard of any MLB park installed for the 2007 season. Is this a sign that Bonds’ head has grown even larger? Must be the flaxseed oil cream.
That’s it for now. Look for this column every Wednesday!
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Follow Up: Saints Fan Offered Maxim Shoot.
My girlie, Ms. Fuck da Eagles, is being sought by Maxim for a photo shoot.
Now the original screenshot from Fox may have been misleading...new details in the case of the Saints Skank have surfaced.
Maybe she's just a Bayou Hottie?
You be the judge...
Now the original screenshot from Fox may have been misleading...new details in the case of the Saints Skank have surfaced.
Maybe she's just a Bayou Hottie?
You be the judge...
If you know this gal, CLICK HERE TO HELP HER GET A MAXIM PHOTO SHOOT!
Seldom Earning Championships? No more bad acronyms for the SEC.
The Big Ten has some
big shoes to fill
to keep up with
the dominating SEC.
It’s been a long time coming, but I needed to dwell upon this rumination for a while before I made it official. I watched the highlights of the national championship game again and again, and it saddens this Big Ten fan to admit the following:
The SEC is currently the best football conference in NCAA D-I.
My favorite college football stats site, cfbdatawarehouse.com, has an interesting all-time conference rankings page, subdivided into conference leaders by total points made up of winning percentage points, schedule points, national championship points, and Big 4 Bowl points. Here’s how the two conferences fare:
Winning Percentage Points: SEC (589.27); B10 (574.68)
Schedule Points: B10 (707.93); SEC (676.16)
National Championship Points: B10 (1350.00); SEC (1150.00)
Big 4 Bowl Points: SEC (1570.00); B10 (1095.00)
Total Points: SEC (3,985.44); B10 (3,727.61)
The SEC is slowly creeping up in schedule points year after year, because the Big 10 is primarily a fight between Michigan and Ohio State (and occasionally Penn State) every year. The SEC has mad team talent year after year, and it’s beginning to show in these point totals.
The Big Ten is naturally going to lead the SEC in National Championship points. Why, you ask? For the same reason that the Ivy League’s win percentage skyrockets above both the SEC and the Big 10: They’ve been around the longest. Though it helps my Big 10 argument, it’s undoubtedly a skewed stat.
Big 4 Bowl Points are an interesting category. The SEC leads that by a wide margin…so the argument could be made that the Big 10 teams just muscle eachother around every year because each team is overloaded with talent. The truth came out after the major bowl games this year, though. Year after year, the Big Ten seems to get dominated by other conferences in post-season, high-level bowl games. Teams like
A long time ago, I quipped to a colleague that the SEC stood for Seldom Earning Championships. The conference is quickly stepping up…
No matter what the polls say at the end of the year, I have to gauge how good a team is by how they’d match up against the country’s other great teams. After seeing
It’s hard to say at this point that the Buckeyes would have had a chance against JaMarcus Russel’s LSU offense or
NFL Playoffs 2007 –Conference Championships– A Guide to Getting Paid
"The subject of gambling is all encompassing. It combines man's natural play instinct with his desire to know about his fate and his future." - Franz Rosenthal
Well, 1 for 4 on Wild Card Weekend left me $240 in the hole. I was sure I had week two in the bag.
I went 2-2. I’ll take it. Thanks to a parlay, I’m back in the saddle.
$100 Seattle +8.5, Over 37 (Parlay) RESULT +$270
$100 Baltimore -4 RESULT -$110
$100 Saints -6, Over 48 (Parlay) RESULT -$110
$100 Patriots +4.5 RESULT +$100
So after the second playoff weekend, I find myself with $910 of my starting $1000 bank roll. Not too bad. I had some action, just missed a few bets.
Now we’re down to the Championship round. This is where we separate the men from the boys. Where we start making some real money.
NEW ORLEANS SAINTS @ CHICAGO BEARS (BEARS -1, o/u 43)
There’s a lot to be said about the Bears. As a team, they show flashes of potential that suggest they can win it all. Yes, there are holes in the secondary. Yes, the defensive line has a few injuries. Yes, they couldn’t HOLD the lead last weekend. Yes, Rex Grossman’s decision making has been poor at times.
But they keep winning. The Bears manage to make a big play when it’s needed. This team’s got heart. They’re pesky, refusing to go away when they’re at their lowest point.
Add to that home field advantage. Yes, we’ve all heard about the weather factor, that New Orleans is going to shiver to death on the sidelines and we’ll win the game by default. I’ve stated my case on that subject, you all know where I stand. It’s going make a difference, but not enough to swing the game.
This game is going to come down to a few simple factors. The Bears defense HAS to stop Deuce AND get pressure on Drew Brees. If New Orleans can get their run game going and start to set up the passing game, look out.
On offense, the Bears need to hold onto the ball for as long as possible to keep Brees & Co. off the field. That means a steady dose of Jones and Benson. Yes, BOTH OF THEM.
It’s also known that the Saint’s secondary is shaky. By getting the run established early, Rex (The Sex Machine) Grossman will be able to take a few shots deep down field.
*STATS of INTEREST* – The Saints had the second lowest number of takeaways in the NFL during the regular season, 19.
Five of the last SEVEN #1 NFC Seeds made it to the Super Bowl.
I think the Bears will get the lead early and hold on for the win.
Chicago -1, OVER 43
NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS @ INDIANAPOLIS COLTS (COLTS -3, o/u 47.5)
Haven’t we seen this whole song and dance before?
One thing to say: Four Super Bowl appearances in the last Six Years.
While Brady and the Pat’s were given the opportunity to stay in the game last week vs. the Chargers, I’m not so sure they’ll have that chance this weekend.
The Colt’s defense is playing much, much better than they have in past years. They’ve only allowed 14 points TOTAL in the first to playoff games. But in the same breath, the offense of KC and Baltimore looked like shit in both games. This go ‘round, they’ll face Brady.
Brady, who looked off his game last week in San Diego, will be ready this week. For one, it’s going to be played in Indy, which means DOME. I’m sure the Pat’s will enjoy the controlled environment as opposed to the blowing snow and frigid temps at the ‘Fox. And based on past years that the Patriots have walked over Indy to get to the Super Bowl, I’m going to go out on a limb and say Brady loves making Peyton his bitch.
Peyton Manning has been off his game in a big way. He’s thrown 1 TD and 5 INT’s in the first two games. If this pattern continues, he’ll be able to watch the Super Bowl at home with Eli and Archie.
I’ve said it for two straight weeks. This week it’s going to happen. Brady will send Peyton packing.
New England +3, UNDER 47.5
I went 2-2. I’ll take it. Thanks to a parlay, I’m back in the saddle.
$100 Seattle +8.5, Over 37 (Parlay) RESULT +$270
$100 Baltimore -4 RESULT -$110
$100 Saints -6, Over 48 (Parlay) RESULT -$110
$100 Patriots +4.5 RESULT +$100
So after the second playoff weekend, I find myself with $910 of my starting $1000 bank roll. Not too bad. I had some action, just missed a few bets.
Now we’re down to the Championship round. This is where we separate the men from the boys. Where we start making some real money.
NEW ORLEANS SAINTS @ CHICAGO BEARS (BEARS -1, o/u 43)
There’s a lot to be said about the Bears. As a team, they show flashes of potential that suggest they can win it all. Yes, there are holes in the secondary. Yes, the defensive line has a few injuries. Yes, they couldn’t HOLD the lead last weekend. Yes, Rex Grossman’s decision making has been poor at times.
But they keep winning. The Bears manage to make a big play when it’s needed. This team’s got heart. They’re pesky, refusing to go away when they’re at their lowest point.
Add to that home field advantage. Yes, we’ve all heard about the weather factor, that New Orleans is going to shiver to death on the sidelines and we’ll win the game by default. I’ve stated my case on that subject, you all know where I stand. It’s going make a difference, but not enough to swing the game.
This game is going to come down to a few simple factors. The Bears defense HAS to stop Deuce AND get pressure on Drew Brees. If New Orleans can get their run game going and start to set up the passing game, look out.
On offense, the Bears need to hold onto the ball for as long as possible to keep Brees & Co. off the field. That means a steady dose of Jones and Benson. Yes, BOTH OF THEM.
It’s also known that the Saint’s secondary is shaky. By getting the run established early, Rex (The Sex Machine) Grossman will be able to take a few shots deep down field.
*STATS of INTEREST* – The Saints had the second lowest number of takeaways in the NFL during the regular season, 19.
Five of the last SEVEN #1 NFC Seeds made it to the Super Bowl.
I think the Bears will get the lead early and hold on for the win.
Chicago -1, OVER 43
NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS @ INDIANAPOLIS COLTS (COLTS -3, o/u 47.5)
Haven’t we seen this whole song and dance before?
One thing to say: Four Super Bowl appearances in the last Six Years.
While Brady and the Pat’s were given the opportunity to stay in the game last week vs. the Chargers, I’m not so sure they’ll have that chance this weekend.
The Colt’s defense is playing much, much better than they have in past years. They’ve only allowed 14 points TOTAL in the first to playoff games. But in the same breath, the offense of KC and Baltimore looked like shit in both games. This go ‘round, they’ll face Brady.
Brady, who looked off his game last week in San Diego, will be ready this week. For one, it’s going to be played in Indy, which means DOME. I’m sure the Pat’s will enjoy the controlled environment as opposed to the blowing snow and frigid temps at the ‘Fox. And based on past years that the Patriots have walked over Indy to get to the Super Bowl, I’m going to go out on a limb and say Brady loves making Peyton his bitch.
Peyton Manning has been off his game in a big way. He’s thrown 1 TD and 5 INT’s in the first two games. If this pattern continues, he’ll be able to watch the Super Bowl at home with Eli and Archie.
I’ve said it for two straight weeks. This week it’s going to happen. Brady will send Peyton packing.
New England +3, UNDER 47.5
Monday, January 15, 2007
Playoff musings
We all know that my original playoff predictions are fucked, but thats ok. I'd like to give my personal view of the playoff thusfar.
First, lets look at the AFC. Now, everyone knows that I hate the Manning family, but I was actually glad to see the Colts advance this weekend. Why you may ask? Well, first off I have so much respect for Marvin Harrison and Tony Dungy that my feelings for Peyton can be set aside. Second, I HATE the Ravens. They are boring to watch, always have been always will be. I absolutely HATE Brian Billick. I hate him more than all the Mannings combined. He might be the second cockiest SOB in football. I remember (or barely remember, depending how you want to look at it) one "hazy" night in college watching the Game Show Network in a vegetative state and an old episode of Match Game was on. We were all commenting on how cocky the strapping young lad who was that night's contestant was. Turns out it was a young Brian Billick, and he was a prick then. But I digress. Any time I see this man lose is a good day for me.
Next there are the Patriots. They played horrible, yet beat my Super Bowl pick, the San Diego Chargers. This disappointed me because I love LT and Schottenheimer. I think they are two of the classiest individuals in sports. This also made me sad because the only man in football I hate more than Billick is Bill Belichick. I can't believe the NFL lets him dress like someone who just climbed out of a cardboard box on Crenshaw Ave. Plus he is cocky too. Now, I'll admit he's a hell of a coach, possibly the best x's and o's guy the NFL has ever seen. But I have noticed that he is one hell of a crybaby too. Mangini didn't obey King Bill and Belichick tries to make him to be a prick. I'm sure a lot of you heard LT's postgame comments and although it does sound like sour grapes, there is an element of truth to what he said. The Patriots acted like assholes after the game and they are truly a reflection of their coach. I really hope Indy kicks the shit out of them. And if Indy does win, I'm sure King Bill's true colors will come out.
Now the NFC. Congrats to the Saints. They have been exciting to watch all season long and will definately give the Bears a challenge, but I don't think they will win.
I need to totally disagree with the article below. Although I think that people who believe in "Bear Weather" are complete dopes, I do believe that the Bears have a weather advantage in this game. The Saints high powered offense is reminiscent of the 1999 Rams, and by that I mean they are much better indoors than they are in the elements. If the Bears were playing a team that played outdoors, even if it was a warm weather team, I would agree that weather would have no affect on this game. But I do strongly think that an outdoor team has a large advantage over a dome team in the middle of winter. If good Rex shows up (don't blame him for that interception that was Muhammed's fault. I'm sure Muhsin will find some way to blame Orton for his bad play.) the Bears should have no problem advancing to the Super Bowl.
On a personal note, I've been asked many times in my life who my favorite sports team is, and it has always been a toss-up between the Bears and the White Sox. Well, now I know who my true love is. In 2005 time seemed to stand still in October. The greatest feeling in my life was seeing that final out after 27 years of being a Sox fan. The whole playoffs, it was a dream. And although I pray the Bears actually pull the whole thing out of their ass and bring the Lombardi trophy back to Chicago after 21 years, this whole run will be a distant second to the 2005 MLB playoffs.
First, lets look at the AFC. Now, everyone knows that I hate the Manning family, but I was actually glad to see the Colts advance this weekend. Why you may ask? Well, first off I have so much respect for Marvin Harrison and Tony Dungy that my feelings for Peyton can be set aside. Second, I HATE the Ravens. They are boring to watch, always have been always will be. I absolutely HATE Brian Billick. I hate him more than all the Mannings combined. He might be the second cockiest SOB in football. I remember (or barely remember, depending how you want to look at it) one "hazy" night in college watching the Game Show Network in a vegetative state and an old episode of Match Game was on. We were all commenting on how cocky the strapping young lad who was that night's contestant was. Turns out it was a young Brian Billick, and he was a prick then. But I digress. Any time I see this man lose is a good day for me.
Next there are the Patriots. They played horrible, yet beat my Super Bowl pick, the San Diego Chargers. This disappointed me because I love LT and Schottenheimer. I think they are two of the classiest individuals in sports. This also made me sad because the only man in football I hate more than Billick is Bill Belichick. I can't believe the NFL lets him dress like someone who just climbed out of a cardboard box on Crenshaw Ave. Plus he is cocky too. Now, I'll admit he's a hell of a coach, possibly the best x's and o's guy the NFL has ever seen. But I have noticed that he is one hell of a crybaby too. Mangini didn't obey King Bill and Belichick tries to make him to be a prick. I'm sure a lot of you heard LT's postgame comments and although it does sound like sour grapes, there is an element of truth to what he said. The Patriots acted like assholes after the game and they are truly a reflection of their coach. I really hope Indy kicks the shit out of them. And if Indy does win, I'm sure King Bill's true colors will come out.
Now the NFC. Congrats to the Saints. They have been exciting to watch all season long and will definately give the Bears a challenge, but I don't think they will win.
I need to totally disagree with the article below. Although I think that people who believe in "Bear Weather" are complete dopes, I do believe that the Bears have a weather advantage in this game. The Saints high powered offense is reminiscent of the 1999 Rams, and by that I mean they are much better indoors than they are in the elements. If the Bears were playing a team that played outdoors, even if it was a warm weather team, I would agree that weather would have no affect on this game. But I do strongly think that an outdoor team has a large advantage over a dome team in the middle of winter. If good Rex shows up (don't blame him for that interception that was Muhammed's fault. I'm sure Muhsin will find some way to blame Orton for his bad play.) the Bears should have no problem advancing to the Super Bowl.
On a personal note, I've been asked many times in my life who my favorite sports team is, and it has always been a toss-up between the Bears and the White Sox. Well, now I know who my true love is. In 2005 time seemed to stand still in October. The greatest feeling in my life was seeing that final out after 27 years of being a Sox fan. The whole playoffs, it was a dream. And although I pray the Bears actually pull the whole thing out of their ass and bring the Lombardi trophy back to Chicago after 21 years, this whole run will be a distant second to the 2005 MLB playoffs.
Sunday, January 14, 2007
Sunday Night Play Off Report.
What I learned today...
Chicago 27 - Seattle 24
First off, I hit my Parlay. That helps.
Rex Grossman (282 yards, 75.9 Passer Rating, 1 TD, 1 INT, 1 Fumble) played good enough to win. He still threw a number of passes behind his receivers. And he still shits his pants when he's under pressure. The coaching staff needs to explain to him that sometimes it's ok to take a sack. But all in all, he played a decent game.
The Bears Defense steps up to make big plays. While their secondary is shaky (Charles Tilman, I'm talking to you) they answered the bell on numerous occasions and kept their team in the game.
Matt Hasselbeck had a tough game. His offensive line didn't help him all that much. He found himself scraping his ass off the turf early and often.
The Bears have awesome fans....check out this guy...he lives in my town...
That's a FAN!
Next week the Saints come to town. I've already read morons talking about "Bear Weather" and that the concept Saints won't be able to play in the cold. I hate that thought fucking thought process. Regardless of the goddamn weather, this NFC Championship game is going to be a good one.
New England 24 - San Diego 21
Again, I hit my bet. Two for two on Sunday. Added bonus: Patriots won outright.
Tom Brady and Bill Belichick are a tough pair to beat when the play offs roll around.
Brady (57.6 Passer Rating, 2 TD's, 3 INT) was shaky. He looked out of rhythm on more than one occasion. But he persevered and they came out on top.
The Pat's Defense is for real.
The league MVP can tackle a man by the face mask and the ref's will pick up the flag.
Phillip Rivers (55.5 Passer Rating, 0 TD's, 1 INT, 1 Fumble) showed he was a rookie.
A 54 yard field goal is a long ass kick.
Marty Schottenheimer can't win a play off game to save his ass. If he doesn't lose his job I'll be surprised. Nine Pro Bowlers,League MVP, and home field advantage and they can't advance?
Now the Patriots get to take out Peyton and the Colts. Yes, I said take out. Third time's a charm, right?
Chicago 27 - Seattle 24
First off, I hit my Parlay. That helps.
Rex Grossman (282 yards, 75.9 Passer Rating, 1 TD, 1 INT, 1 Fumble) played good enough to win. He still threw a number of passes behind his receivers. And he still shits his pants when he's under pressure. The coaching staff needs to explain to him that sometimes it's ok to take a sack. But all in all, he played a decent game.
The Bears Defense steps up to make big plays. While their secondary is shaky (Charles Tilman, I'm talking to you) they answered the bell on numerous occasions and kept their team in the game.
Matt Hasselbeck had a tough game. His offensive line didn't help him all that much. He found himself scraping his ass off the turf early and often.
The Bears have awesome fans....check out this guy...he lives in my town...
That's a FAN!
Next week the Saints come to town. I've already read morons talking about "Bear Weather" and that the concept Saints won't be able to play in the cold. I hate that thought fucking thought process. Regardless of the goddamn weather, this NFC Championship game is going to be a good one.
New England 24 - San Diego 21
Again, I hit my bet. Two for two on Sunday. Added bonus: Patriots won outright.
Tom Brady and Bill Belichick are a tough pair to beat when the play offs roll around.
Brady (57.6 Passer Rating, 2 TD's, 3 INT) was shaky. He looked out of rhythm on more than one occasion. But he persevered and they came out on top.
The Pat's Defense is for real.
The league MVP can tackle a man by the face mask and the ref's will pick up the flag.
Phillip Rivers (55.5 Passer Rating, 0 TD's, 1 INT, 1 Fumble) showed he was a rookie.
A 54 yard field goal is a long ass kick.
Marty Schottenheimer can't win a play off game to save his ass. If he doesn't lose his job I'll be surprised. Nine Pro Bowlers,League MVP, and home field advantage and they can't advance?
Now the Patriots get to take out Peyton and the Colts. Yes, I said take out. Third time's a charm, right?
Saturday, January 13, 2007
Saturday Night Play Off Report
What we learned today...
COLTS 15 - Ravens 6
The Ravens offense sucks. Actually, it can't suck. It's fucking non-existent. Steve McNair needs to retire.
They can't win a field goal race either. With that defense, they shouldn't lose a game. But ya can't win if ya can't score.
The Colt's Defense may not be as bad as we all thought. Granted, they had little to worry about today.
Peyton Manning is as bad in the post season as we all thought. His team won another game, IN SPITE of him.
Peyton's fore head is growing at an increasingly alarming rate.
So next week we get to see if the Colts can do it again, this time against a team that can score. I picked that prick Manning to lose twice in two weeks and he's proved me wrong both times.
I hate being wrong, but I'm a pig headed gut. I'm going to make the early prediction that the Colts will lose in the AFC Championship game against the Chargers or Patriots.
But for now, we have this moment to remember...or make us sick...
After Saturday's win over the Ravens, Archie Manning
embraced his oldest son and proclaimed, "At least you're
not the fucking failure your little brother is."
I hate you Peyton.
New Orleans - Philly
This game's in progress. I will make a few observations and be back with more tomorrow..
Andy Reid needs to pass a few buffet lines. The guys' pushing maximum density. His Defense came out hitting.
The Saints have too many weapons. They've got to be the clear favorite to come out of the NFC and head to the Super Bowl.
And it's good to see that New Orleans is back to normal after Katrina. Even the young, white, blonde hooker population has returned.
More tomorrow..
COLTS 15 - Ravens 6
The Ravens offense sucks. Actually, it can't suck. It's fucking non-existent. Steve McNair needs to retire.
They can't win a field goal race either. With that defense, they shouldn't lose a game. But ya can't win if ya can't score.
The Colt's Defense may not be as bad as we all thought. Granted, they had little to worry about today.
Peyton Manning is as bad in the post season as we all thought. His team won another game, IN SPITE of him.
Peyton's fore head is growing at an increasingly alarming rate.
So next week we get to see if the Colts can do it again, this time against a team that can score. I picked that prick Manning to lose twice in two weeks and he's proved me wrong both times.
I hate being wrong, but I'm a pig headed gut. I'm going to make the early prediction that the Colts will lose in the AFC Championship game against the Chargers or Patriots.
But for now, we have this moment to remember...or make us sick...
After Saturday's win over the Ravens, Archie Manning
embraced his oldest son and proclaimed, "At least you're
not the fucking failure your little brother is."
I hate you Peyton.
New Orleans - Philly
This game's in progress. I will make a few observations and be back with more tomorrow..
Andy Reid needs to pass a few buffet lines. The guys' pushing maximum density. His Defense came out hitting.
The Saints have too many weapons. They've got to be the clear favorite to come out of the NFC and head to the Super Bowl.
And it's good to see that New Orleans is back to normal after Katrina. Even the young, white, blonde hooker population has returned.
Wonder if Fox will see a fine from the FCC for broadcasting this image? After all, she's got the word FUCK on her shirt. They should be happy she wasn't actually doing said activity in the stands....
More tomorrow..
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