The Jail Cell Shuffle

I am glad to see that this edition of the Super Bowl Bound Bears did not release their own version of "The Super Bowl Shuffle". I am also delighted to find out that the Cincinnati Bengals have released a "fight" song for this year's version of the team.

So without further adiou I now present to you The Jail Cell Shuffle:




We are the Bengals Chain Gang Crew
Muggin', Maimin', and Rapin' you
We're so bad on and off the field
Hoping our lawyers can plea a deal
You know we're just havin' some fun
And we don't give a damn about anyone
We didn't think we'd get in trouble
But now we're doin' the Jail Cell Shuffle

(Frostee Rucker):

They call me Frostee and I like to dance
The bitch wouldn't listen so I had to whoop her ass
I told her to put out for just one night
The bitch said no so we had to fight
I didn't do it because I'm crazy
I had to do it because the ho is lazy
I didn't think I'd get in trouble
But now I'm doin' the Jail Cell Shuffle

(Reggie McNeal):

This is speedy Reggie and I'm world class
The pigs tried to cuff me so I said "Kiss my ass"
I drink in the clubs and drive at night
Then resist arrest with all my might
Now the altercation did occur
But I'll be damned if i'll tell a pig "Yes sir"
There's eight others here that roll like me
But hopefully the judge will set us free

(Jonathan Joseph):

It was really good shit so I was told
So I had to get some for my bowl
I've been cheechin' for quite a while
With blood shot eyes and big smile
Give it a chance it's really good
Especially since it's from my neighborhood
I didn't think I'd get in trouble
But now I'm doin' the Jail Cell Shuffle

We are the Bengals Chain Gang Crew
Muggin', Maimin', and Rapin' you
We're so bad on and off the field
Hoping our lawyers can plea a deal
You know we're just havin' some fun
And we don't give a damn about anyone
We didn't think we'd get in trouble
But now we're doin' the Jail Cell Shuffle

(Chris Henry):

I'm the five time offender known as Chris Henry
When I hit the courtroom I have no memory
I smoke some blunts, I like to drink
I'll do other shit as long as I don't have to think
The kids are in my room and I give them booze
Then hop in my car and take a cruise
That's why I'm in some serious trouble
Now I'm doin' the Jail Cell Shuffle

(Odell Thurman):

I'm mama's boy Odell number fifty one
And I was just with my boys havin' some fun
It's all my fault just blame me
For being dumb enough to hang with Chris Henry
Did twenty shots and got sick
Then told the cops to "Suck my dick"
Just then I knew I was in trouble
And I'd be doin' the Jail Cell Shuffle

(Eric Steinbach):

I was on my boat getting a tan
No one else will drive but I sure can
This is Stein and its no wonder
That boat tailing us must have been undercover
So bring on the judges, bring on the jury
And I'll bring my lawyers and all their fury
If you're buyin' drinks I'll have a double
Cause I'll get out of doin' the Jail Cell Shuffle

We are the Bengals Chain Gang Crew
Muggin', Maimin', and Rapin' you
We're so bad on and off the field
Hoping our lawyers can plea a deal
You know we're just havin' some fun
And we don't give a damn about anyone
We didn't think we'd get in trouble
But now we're doin' the Jail Cell Shuffle

(Matthias Askew):

The police were comin' and I was bent
Couldn't get arrested so away I went
I dropped my weed, I ditched my gun
But boy that cop sure could run
He tackled me and I still resisted
I got charged for hittin' him close fisted
I was just tryin' to get out of trouble
But now I'm doin' the Jail Cell Shuffle

(Chad Johnson):

It's Ocho here and I'm Mr. Clean
They call me a detriment, don't know what they mean
They tell me to shut up and bite my tongue
But hey at least I haven't hurt no one
Marvin's guys are bad to the bone
And they blame me for settin' the tone
All I ever do is dance and yell
It's not like I'm gonna wind up in a cell

(AJ Nicholson):

My name is AJ and I'm the rookie
I went to FSU so I'm no smart cookie
Broke in the house and took some things
Like silverware, money, bracelets and rings
I led the posse as you can see
The others, they were all accomplices to me
Lookin' for free shit, I found trouble
Now I'm doin' the Jail Cell Shuffle

We are the Bengals Chain Gang Crew
Muggin', Maimin', and Rapin' you
We're so bad on and off the field
Hoping our lawyers can plea a deal
You know we're just havin' some fun
And we don't give a damn about anyone
We didn't think we'd get in trouble
But now we're doin' the Jail Cell Shuffle

NOTE: ALL PROCEEDS FROM ALBUM SALES GO TO "THE SAVE A BENGAL FOUNDATION" WHICH IS A NON-PROFIT ORGANIZATION WHICH OFFERS POST-GAME ACTIVITIES TO KEEP BENGAL PLAYERS OUT OF THE STREETS AND HELPS EASE THE PAIN OF ALL THEIR LAWYER FEES AND COURT COSTS.

In honor of the Bengals (and MAMQB writer and Penn State fan Rhino) I'd like to give this week's Former Mockery Player of the Week Award to my personal favorite mockery player, the mockery of all mockeries, KiJana Carter. The Bengals took him #1 overall in 1995 out of Penn State. If not for injuries, he may have had a stellar career. Because of injuries though he had only 1144 rushing yards in 10 NFL seasons, making him possibly the biggest bust of all time. He can hold his head high though since he is now The MAMQB Former Mockery Player of The Week.
























Huh, I'll be damned. KiJana Carter
did actually play in the NFL.