Tom Brady: Gizzmaster

Tom has cum through in the clutch again...Rumors have been swirling all day that Mr. Brady has spread his super spunk once again...this time supposedly impregnating Gisele.

Tom, NEWSFLASH: You can have SEX without procreating. Buy a rubber...or two. It's evident you have some sort of SUPER SPERM, so cage it up kid.

Not to mention you keep adding to your already insane "what have you done with your life?" factor that makes us regular fella feel useless. Let's see...3 Super Bowl Rings and 2 Super Bowl MVP Titles before your 28th birthday. The list of woman who have been in your bed is longer than the entire Cincinatti Bengals rap sheet. And now it appears you've dropped your super human seed on not only uber-hot Bridget Moynhan but also the hottest model on the planet, Gisele.

Thanks for making me feel good about myself, AGAIN, Tom....

Tom Brady: Baby Daddy

Way to go Tom. First you launch Bridget’s old ass to upgrade to Gisele.

That's understandable. Who wouldn’t want to dip their wick in the hottest piece of poon on the planet? I can cope with your decision.

But to do it when Bridget is Pregnant with your child?

Dick move man, Dick move.

PS: You play in the NFL, not the NBA. Man up.

An Open Letter to Tom Brady (WARNING: Satire Ahead)

Fuck you Tom. Fuck you right in the mouth. Fuck you like a skinny white boy in a state penitentiary.

Yup. I’m done with you fella. Once upon a time I stood by your side, defended you to the critics who hated, praised your abilities and knowledge of the game. Once upon a time you even inspired me to be an over achiever, just like you.

But not any more. Now I see you for what you are…a worthless, no good, piece of cow shit.

What has brought on this tirade? Why have you lost a loyal fan?

Because you could not complete one easy task. One thing I’ve been predicting for three straight weeks, and I truly though you were my man.

I guess I was wrong.

Why did you let me down Tom? Is Peyton really that good? You couldn’t get the job done. Now I’ve got to deal with this prick in the Super Bowl against my beloved Bears.

Was is Giselle?



















I know that’s one primo piece of pie, but come on man…do you really want the kid from Titanic’s sloppy seconds?

Was it Belichick?

Have you had enough of him? It’s the sleeves on the sweatshirt thing, isn’t it? I can almost understand.

Was it Reche Caldwell?

He couldn’t catch syphilis in a whore house.

What ever it was, I’m not listening to your bullshit excuse. You’re supposed to be the Ace #1 Top Dog King Dick in the game, and you end up making me look like a fucking moron.

I thought I could count on you Tom.

Learned an important lesson last night...if you need something done, you must do it your self. That said, I'm going to have to rely on THE BEARS to stop Manning.

Have fun in the off season…douche bag.

PS: I HOPE THIS FUCKING HURT LIKE SHIT

Sunday Night Play Off Report.

What I learned today...

Chicago 27 - Seattle 24

First off, I hit my Parlay. That helps.

Rex Grossman (282 yards, 75.9 Passer Rating, 1 TD, 1 INT, 1 Fumble) played good enough to win. He still threw a number of passes behind his receivers. And he still shits his pants when he's under pressure. The coaching staff needs to explain to him that sometimes it's ok to take a sack. But all in all, he played a decent game.




















The Bears Defense steps up to make big plays. While their secondary is shaky (Charles Tilman, I'm talking to you) they answered the bell on numerous occasions and kept their team in the game.

Matt Hasselbeck had a tough game. His offensive line didn't help him all that much. He found himself scraping his ass off the turf early and often.

The Bears have awesome fans....check out this guy...he lives in my town...




















That's a FAN!

Next week the Saints come to town. I've already read morons talking about "Bear Weather" and that the concept Saints won't be able to play in the cold. I hate that thought fucking thought process. Regardless of the goddamn weather, this NFC Championship game is going to be a good one.

New England 24 - San Diego 21

Again, I hit my bet. Two for two on Sunday. Added bonus: Patriots won outright.

Tom Brady and Bill Belichick are a tough pair to beat when the play offs roll around.

Brady (57.6 Passer Rating, 2 TD's, 3 INT) was shaky. He looked out of rhythm on more than one occasion. But he persevered and they came out on top.

The Pat's Defense is for real.

The league MVP can tackle a man by the face mask and the ref's will pick up the flag.


















Phillip Rivers (55.5 Passer Rating, 0 TD's, 1 INT, 1 Fumble) showed he was a rookie.

A 54 yard field goal is a long ass kick.


















Marty Schottenheimer can't win a play off game to save his ass. If he doesn't lose his job I'll be surprised. Nine Pro Bowlers,League MVP, and home field advantage and they can't advance?

Now the Patriots get to take out Peyton and the Colts. Yes, I said take out. Third time's a charm, right?