This Week's Moneyshots

Tank Johnson was arrested for a misdemeanor pertaining to possessing some guns without a FOID card. No big deal, right? Wrong. He violated his probation from previous run ins with the law. Then, instead of laying low, he went out for a night on the town Friday. I guess he figured "Fuck it, I'm not playing this weekend anyway! Might as well get drunk and laid and go on a bender and rob and loot and do whatever else I feel like!" Point: he went looking for trouble and it found him. His "bodyguard" was shot and killed at a club that night. Does this guy never learn? Clean up your act, or else you will not be making millions playing football anymore. The latest rumor is the Bengals are very interested in picking up Johnson because he fits in so well with their team concept.

Terrell Owens. I have a feeling that he will be a regular in this weekly column. Thats nothing to be proud of, since I mostly just cover major assholes in this segment. This guy spit in the face of Atlanta Falcons DB D'Angelo Hall on Sunday. When asked about it after the game he said it was an accident. Then when there was word that the incident was not clearly visible on TV he said that Hall made the whole thing up. T.O., if you're going to lie, at least be consistent with your story. Your agent said you had 20 million reasons not to commit suicide. Well make that 19,965,000 reasons, since you were fined $35,000. This guy has been a weekly pain in the ass to the Cowboys, and I for one don't think Jerry Jones will have the stones to get rid of him in the offseason. You think Bill Parcels is wishing the pharmacist would have accidentally upped the dosage a couple months ago?

Let's talk about the brawl in Madison Square Garden. Let's try not to offend Steve Francis though. It was reported today that Francis feels the brawl is getting media coverage because the league is predominantly black. "In other sports, there are incidents that are way worse than basketball. So many worse things happen every game or four or five times a year, but because there are more black players in the NBA, it's under the microscope more than baseball or hockey." Look, Stevie Franchise, lets throw hockey out of the equation since fighting is allowed and a part of the game, and then there is the fact that hockey does not get nearly as much press coverage in general as basketball (I wonder if Steve would find that to be reverse discrimination). In baseball there may be a bench clearing brawl, but it usually gets broken up right away with nothing more than a little pushing and shoving. Plus, the last time I checked, there has never been a brawl in either of those sports that had the magnitude of the one that happened two years ago in Detroit.

Then there is Isiah Thomas. He was crying that Denver was running up the score, since George Karl left his starters in there. Only problem is that so did Isiah. Although most would agree that a Division III fifth string JV lineup could beat the Knick's starting five, he has no right to cry in this case. And Karl made that known. Now, I've never been a Karl fan. Didn't like him in Seattle. Didn't like him in Milwaukee. Didn't like him when he played Coach Lubbock on the late 80's family sitcom "Just the 10 of Us" (remember the episode when the son claimed his skateboard was stolen by hockey stick wielding Canadians?). But Ol Babyface is right on this one. In an obscenity laced tirade he called Thomas a "jackass". Supposedly Thomas warned Anthony not to go in the lane anymore. This means the brawl was premeditated. As if the team, or lack thereof, that Thomas has assembled wasn't bad enough, now he is taking his aggressions out on other teams. How does this guy still have a job? Are his employers the same ones who employ Matt Millen? His presence in the NBA is not only one of the great wonders of today, but a damn shame.









Which one coaches the Nuggets?
I can't tell the difference either!










Like I predicted last week, AI is not playing for Miami as ESPN clown/AI salad tosser Stephen A. Smith suggested he may. Today he was traded to Denver to play alongside Carmello Anthony, that is when Anthony returns from his 15 game suspension for the above mentioned brawl. He doesn't need to be near South Beach anyway. I envision a person of AI's character to be a huge skier and I can see the smile on his face when he found out he would be so close Aspen.




When asked about his new turf, AI stated "I can't wait
to get a hold of some of those snowbitches.
I love it here! We talkin bout skiing!"

Last night Chad Johnson was fined for wearing shoes with his picture on them. Thing is he was wearing them in pregame warmups. So why the fine? But the biggest problem is that I had the perfect candidate for this weeks Mockery Player of The Week after I saw someone wearing said player's 49ers jersey this weekend, but it turns out this player is back in the news since he is the one who actually fined Johnson. Remember Merton Hanks and his E.T.-neck celebration dance?
So, this week's MPOTW is former Cardinals/Bears TE Cap Boso. Boso played from 1986-1991 and was drafted out of Illinois. The only other thing I could find on him is that he "never finished in the top 10 in any category", thus furthering the proof that he is truly a mockery.